Hidden Realizations of the Heart
by HermioneSparta
Summary: Sometimes we don’t always know what we want, even if it’s been in front of us the entire time. warning: rape
1. Chapter 1

Hidden Realizations of Heart

By: HermioneSparta

Rating: M

Summary: Sometimes we don't always know what we want, even if it's been in front of us the entire time.

Disclaimer: I bow down before Joss Whedon and Marti Nox.

Author Notes: Please leave reviews. If you flame, be prepared to get a reply jut as bad. So, yes, I even welcome flames.

A RG/BS fic!

**Hidden Realizations of the Heart**

**Chapter One**

The Scoobies had just finished eliminating the nest of vamps that had attacked Dawn that night. Buffy was giving Dawn a dressing down and Giles was leaning on the doorway, waiting. Spike was at his crypt, Anya and Xander were at the apartment and Willow and Tara were talking in their room.

"-n't _believe_ you'd be **so** irresponsible!" Buffy said. Dawn winced. Her head hurt from where she'd hit it when she'd landed on the ground. There'd been a tree root underneath her.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know!" she said. Buffy threw up her hands in frustration and was about to go in the kitchen when she heard the younger female mutter, "It's not worse than anything *you've* ever done." Giles scowled and Buffy spun on her heel. Dawn realized she'd been heard. "Oops," she said, sliding down in her chair. Buffy opened her mouth, then snapped it shut, turned, and went into the back yard, slamming the door. Dawn winced for a different reason this time.

"Was that little comment really worth it?" he asked, not sound anything at all like Giles, the stuffy British Watcher. Dawn squirmed. "Well?"

"No." she admitted in a small voice.

"Then why did you say it?" Dawn didn't answer. "Answer me Dawn," he growled. Normally a seemingly calm and rational man, Rupert "Ripper" Giles was at the end of his tether. His ice pack was laying on the table, forgotten.

Up the stairs, Tara was watching Buffy. The Slayer paced the yard before slumping and bringing her hands to her face. Willow was already on her way down the stairs, but stopped when she heard Giles. Tara watched as Buffy forced back her grief and pain and entered the house again.

"We can set here all night or you can give me a bloody answer Dawn," Giles snapped. Willow stifled a gasp.

"I don't know why I said it ok?"

"No, it's not ok. Buffy knew what she was getting into with Angel. She *knew* he was a vampire. **You** on the other hand didn't even try-"

"I messed up ok? It's not like I did it on purpose!" Dawn said. "I'm not the only one who makes mistakes!" she yelled before running out of the room and up the stairs. Giles sighed and went into the kitchen. Willow came the rest of the way down the stairs and followed. Giles wasn't speaking to her, and with good reason.

"So Dawn's going to sulk until tomorrow evening." Buffy stated as she shut the fridge. "Great."

"If she does then so what?" Willow asked. Buffy tampered down her anger and feeling of betrayal at Willow. Her emotions were the worst around the redhead.

"Willow, could you please not do that tonight?" Buffy asked, voice devoid of all emotion. "Know what, forget it. I'm going to bed," she said, setting down the cup of pop and also going up the stairs.

"That ended well." Willow muttered before turning towards Giles and away from the sink. "So how long are you going to stay mad at me?" Giles didn't answer, but set down his mug of tea and went into the living room and laid on the couch, having already changed. Willow sighed and went up to Tara.

Later that night, or in the early morning, Buffy awoke, heart pounding, sweat pouring, fist clenched. No one had heard the muffled screams. Wiping away the tears, she climbed out of bed and silently made her way to the bathroom to rinse off her face. Then she snuck downstairs.

"Buffy?" She jumped.

"What are you doing up Giles?" she asked, going into the living room when a tiny reading light was on.

"I'm afraid I couldn't sleep. You?"

"Dreams," she muttered. She'd told him when he'd asked how she was. How she was sleeping. He recalled what she'd said. Giles set down the book, and patted the couch next to him as he sat up.

"Sit here." She did. "Now, do you want to talk about it?" Buffy shook her head but allowed him to embrace her. Her resolve threatened to crumble before the numbness returned. She shivered at slivers of the dream. It usually began from her jumping off the tower, to being brought back and crawling from the grave, followed by the events leading up to her arriving at the house and talking to Spike.

Giles took the extra blanket off the back of the couch, wrapped her in it, and pulled her back into his embrace. Buffy rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. She felt safer.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah," she said, opening her eyes and pulling away. Or attempting to. As a normal human, he wouldn't have been able to stop her. But tightening his hold, she relaxed again. He wanted to hold her and she let him. They sat in silence for a while.

Buffy thought over what had went on in the past few days Giles had been in Sunnydale. She'd gotten drunk with Spike while waiting for info, accepted a check in said drunkenness from Giles (which she was regretting doing. Everyone knew she was independent to a bad degree.), run off to LA to talk to Angel (it didn't go too well) and gotten attacked by a nest of vamps thanks to Dawn.

Giles though about everything that had happened since she'd died. He'd been doing that a lot. He'd went back to England the day they did the ritual. He'd returned to find a distant and alive Buffy. He'd given Willow a lecture that inspired some serious though about her magic usage. Then he'd found out about Buffy's bills and almost went off. She'd been dead and there'd been no debts when she'd died. No really bad ones anyway.

Nothing was going as either of them had ever imagined. Neither had expected her to die and be resurrected. When Xander had done CPR was different. It hadn't been her time. And she'd died by "natural means".

"What are you thinking about?" she asked worriedly as she noticed the anger on his face. Giles jerked, startled. He looked at her concerned expression and felt his anger melting from his own expression. But not actually leaving.

"Nothing," he said not convincing either of them. Buffy raised an eyebrow. He didn't reply but released her and stood. Buffy looked slightly disappointed and also stood, heading strait for the kitchen. Giles followed behind her, shaking his head. He'd gotten up to make tea.

"Hungry?" she asked, opening the fridge. Nothing appealed to her so she shut it.

"No," he replied while heating the kettle. He watched her walk around the room, eyebrows furrowed and lips in a frown. She was thinner then normal, and he had yet to see her eat a decent meal.

Buffy climbed up onto the counter and reached inside one of the cabinets and pulled out the plates and bowls. Giles raised an eyebrow and waited.

"Hand me that knife, would you?" she asked, nodding towards the butter knife near the microwave. He handed her the knife. He watched as she pried open part on the backing to the cabinet. A minute later, Buffy replaced the dishes, rinsed off the knife and pulled out the candy bar that had been hidden.

"Good lord. Is that even edible?" he asked, looking at the candy bar as she unwrapped it.

"Expiration date's not for a few more weeks, so yes, it is," she said taking a bite. The caramel in the Twix bar turned into a string. Buffy managed to swallow before laughing. The bar was cookie and goo because of the California heat had melted it so much. "Oh god Giles, I wish I had a camera. You should see your face," she said, doubling over.

Giles' expression was disbelief and attempted suppressed amusement. He chuckled. Buffy's face turned red as she silently laughed. His chuckles turned to laughter, albeit a little quiet, as to not wake anyone. After a few minutes, they settled down. Buffy was clutching her side, an arm around her stomach.

"I-I think we needed that," she said, running her tongue over her lips. Her face was flushed with the effort it took to keep her laughter silent. Giles wiped away a tear.

"Yes, I agree," he said before taking a sip of the tea. Buffy finished off the candy bar and managed to keep her giggles in.

"Giles?"

"Yes?"

"What's wrong?" she asked while leaning on the sink, arms crossed. He sighed.

"Nothing."

"Liar." He clenched down on his retort. It wasn't her fault.

"Nothing is wrong that concerns you," he amended. Buffy narrowed her eyes then suddenly her expression changed to one of indifference and faux happiness.

"All right." She yawned. And Giles knew Buffy enough to know the yawn was also fake. "I'm going back to bed. Night."

"Good night Buffy," he said as she left the room. Giles finished off his tea and went into the living room. He fell asleep once he hit the pillow. In her room, Buffy dozed, her hand under the pillow, gripping a knife.

Later that week Buffy and Giles were in the training room. Tara, Willow, Xander and Anya were at Xander's apartment. The four were going over what they'd found out and stewing in their guilt. Buffy was attempting to understand what Giles was saying. And trying to get him to stay.

"I have to." Buffy looks at Giles in shock.

"Uh-huh," she said, setting down.

"You have to be strong. I'm, I'm trying to-" 

Buffy jumped up. "Trying to, to what? Desert me? Abandon me? Leave me all alone when I really need somebody?"

"I don't want to leave-" Giles started quietly

"So don't. Please don't." she begged. She goes to sit beside him. "I can't do this without you." 

"You can. That's why I'm going. As long as I stay you'll always turn to me if there's something comes up that you feel that you can't handle, and I'll step in because, because..." He sighed. "Because I can't bear to see you suffer." 

"Me too. Hate suffering. Had about as much of it as I can take." 

"Believe me, I'm loathe to cause you more, but this..." Buffy's close to crying as he pauses for words. "I've taught you all I can about being a Slayer, and your mother taught you what you needed to know about life." Buffy looks away, pouting. "You...you're not going to trust that until you're forced to stand alone." 

"But why now?" she demanded. 

"Now more than ever. The temptation to give up is gonna be overwhelming, and I can't let-" he said. They didn't know where she'd been. But they knew she was in hell. 

"So I won't! No giving up. You can be here, and I can still be strong."

"Buffy, I've thought this over ... and over. I believe it's the right thing to do." 

"You're wrong." She almost left, but stopped at the door and went back to the mats and sat next to him. He rubbed a hand over his face.

"I am sorry," he said, knowing he wouldn't get an immediate comment. But he did get one, eventually.

"I know." she whispered, wiping away the tears. "Why?" she asked, looking at him. The one word hid the actual question. "Why now?" _Why lie about it?_ seemed to hand on the end.

"I told you-"

"Please Giles. Please don't say that again. You're always claiming I'm smarter then I am. So don't insult me that way! What is the real reason you're leaving?" she asked, still looking at him. Giles opened his mouth then snapped it with a click. She changed tactics slightly.

"What about Willow? She's going to need your help if she's going to stop using so much magic." Giles let out a bark laughter. His eyes flashed cruelly. Buffy knew it was Riper who'd laughed.

"Willow Rosenberg does not want any help. From anyone. That should be evident from her last magical 'project'," he said while mentally sneering at Willow.

"Please Giles don't go." she pleaded after flinching slightly. He noticed the flinch and scowled. Buffy stood at the scowl, moving away, but not leaving. "What?" she asked nervously as he watched looked at her with an intense gaze. _Well, this is what I get for wanting to *feel*_ _something. Pain!_

"Something happened," he said, narrowing his eyes. Buffy opened her mouth and returned his scowl.

"Oh no you don't! You were about to leave me, not caring! Don't you try to worry about me now that everything is set for you to go!" she snarled. But once she'd said it, everything was wiped away, her emotions nothing but empty space.

Giles sighed. "I'll always care and worry about you Buffy," he said, sounding really British. It was a testament to how tired and worn he was. Buffy sagged.

"I know," she whispered, hugging herself tightly.

"Do you?" he asked in a low voice. Her gaze locked with his.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Answer it," he growled, standing.

"Yes! My GOD Giles, that was **below** thebelt. After all these years, after everything we've been through-" she chocked back a sob. "I can't believe you'd think that of me Giles." she whispered. He stood and took a few steps towards her.

"It seems that you're only thinking of yourself right now." he snarled. He was hurt and wasn't going to play docile Watcher any longer. Buffy reared back as if he'd struck her.

"THINKING OF MYSELF?" she screamed. "All I want is the truth! It's not that much to ask!"

"Do not presume to know something like that!" he snapped back. "You don't know the truth and you shan't!"

"Why?"

"Because you need to grow up!" he said, while pacing.

"Grow up." she stated slowly, paling. There was a tone in her voice that caused him to stop pacing. "Fine then Giles. If you think I haven't been grown since I was sixteen and fighting my first vampire, then I'll grow up some more. I just hope I can do it enough to satisfy you," she said, whispering the last sentence before running from the room and out of the shop.

Buffy ran though the town, ignoring everyone and thing. She didn't think about anything but Giles and the anger he'd shown he felt for her. She slowed near the warehouses and alleys. She walked sown a particular alley and came to the ruins of the tower Glory's crazy minions had built. She stood there, looking and remembering. And wondering if she was ever going to do enough. To be finished. To be free.

Magic Box

The four Scoobies entered the shop, sulking still. Xander was surprised to find Giles setting at one of the tables in the back room, with a bottle of scotch. The three females were in the front.

"Giles, what happened?"

"Go away Xander," he said warningly. Xander spread his hands in a peace gesture.

"Have you seen Buffy? And why are you drinking again?" he asked when it finally registered with his brain that Giles was drinking again. He hadn't drank since Buffy had died.

"I have no idea where Buffy is and I suggest you get the bloody hell out of here." he growled before pouring two fingers and knocking it back. Xander left, not liking where Giles was at. Namely in a very Ripper borderline mood, drinking, and very, VERY close to the knives, swords and other sharp weapons. He went into the main area again, and sunk into a chair next to Anya.

"What's wrong Xand?" Willow asked. Xander shook his head.

"Giles. Very mad. Drinking. Close to sharp objects," he said with a shudder. "When I asked him where Buffy as, he snapped. It looked like he wanted to kill me because I said her name," he said. Willow frowned, Tara looked troubled and Anya was smoothing his hair.

"Mabey we should confront Giles and tell him that he can't kill Xander for asking were Buffy is. I mean, she is the Slayer, and we must know where she is at all times." They all stared at her. "What? I'm just saying what we all know. Buffy should have left a note or something. And not pissed off Giles."

"How do you know it was Buffy who pissed Giles off?" Willow asked. Then she wondered why she was defending Giles.

"Obviously, Buffy did something like hurt Giles and now he's trying to get rid of the problem with nasty alcoholic drinks that will make him have a very bad headache in the morning." she stated with a nod. "Remember how he drank when she died?" And that brought back the guilt.

"Yeah, but Giles also drank because he felt he'd failed her, that it was his fault." Tara pointed out quietly.

"We should find her," Willow said, standing.

"Yes, lets." Xander agreed, jumping up. Getting away from Giles at the moment was what he was willing to do.

"Wait, who's staying here with Giles?" Tara asked. They all looked around.

"I'm not," Xander said, before going to the door and exiting. He stuck his head back in. "And neither is Anya. She'll make it worse."

"Hey! Harris, get back here!" she said, going towards the door. "I'll have you know-" Xander placed a hand over her mouth.

"Giles can take care of himself," Willow said while looking at the office door and chewing on her lip.

"Y-you all said he was turned into a demon while drinking." Tara reminded her. Will smiled softly. Shook her head and took Tara's hand while telling her the entire story.

In the back room, Giles took yet another sip of his drink. He contemplated what to do. But he also knew there was nothing he *could* do. The alcohol was starting to kick in. He knew that he was wrong. Just as he knew Buffy and the others were wrong. And it didn't make him feel the tiny bit better.

Buffy was still at the tower sight. But now, she was walking around it. She walked over everything, looking. With a sigh, she stepped onto the pile and began going towards the center. She would always remember the feel of the portal energy around her, despite the fact that the energy had long ago disappeared.

The gang searched for almost two hours.

"We should go home. Buffy can take care of herself," Xander said as he dragged the axe, they'd also taken care of a few vamps.

"She's close," Willow said. Tara rubbed her lover's arm.

"That's what you said an hour ago," Anya pointed out. They came upon the alley leading to the area of the tower remains. Tara shivered.

"Come on," Willow said, walking down the alley. A minute later, they were greeted by a sight. Buffy was standing on the spot the platform she'd jumped off of was equal to on the ground, lost in memory. She was looking down at the ground, seeing the portal and her final sacred duty before her well earned rest. Her job had been complete.

"Buffy?" Xander asked, stepping onto the ruins. Buffy snapped out of her trance and whirled around, hiding the emotion on her face. When she saw who it was, she hid her anger, pain and betrayal. But not fast enough. They all saw it. Just like they saw the self inflicted numbness and the shadows that lurked in her eyes.

"Xander, what is it?" she asked while wrapping her arms around herself.

"Ah...well a couple of hours ago, we went to the Magic Box. We found Giles. Drinking," he added at her black look. The blankness changed to slowly dawning horror.

"Near sharp objects," Anya interjected in a helpful voice. Buffy gasped and ran.

"I think we should go home," Tara said quietly. Being able to read auras, she could see some of the pain Buffy was in. She also noticed the guilt when Xander had said they'd found a drinking Giles.

They silently started towards the car that was parked on the main street nearby. No one was in the mood for talk.

Magic Box

Buffy arrived back at the store ten minutes later. After unlocking the door, she silently slipped in and flicked on the light. Nothing in the main shop. No surprise. Next was the training room. Again, no Giles. Then she went to the back room.

"Giles," she said with a sigh. Giles was drunk. But not so drunk that he was asleep. No, he was actually wide awake.

"Buffy." He blinked then smiled slightly. "Want some?" he asked in a slurred voice as he raised his glass.

"No. And you're finished," she said, taking the bottle and glass.

"Hey that's mine! Besides, I remember you recently getting drunk." he added with a pout. Buffy rolled her eyes. Liquor was said to be the strongest truth telling method there is. And the only non-supernatural and harming method.

"I was waiting for information," she said, setting across from him. Giles snorted. Ripper decided to play and sober him up some.

"Ah, and drowning your pain away."

"If I was, then so what. I heal, you won't. Not quick enough." Another snort.

"My life is-"

"Don't say it," she growled.

"Why not? You're a bitch and every one of us knows it." Ripper replied. When Ripper was drunk, there was something very wrong. Because it took a lot to get Ripper drunk, since the Dark magic used to build his tolerance to anything. All he could do was make Giles sound comprehendible.

"I've been a bitch, I'll admit it. But I'm not now," she said crossing her arms. Ripper scoffed.

"Oh come now Buffy. You're sulking and being a bitch." She scowled at the British man.

"At least I'm not planning on leaving anyone who needs me." She tilted her head. "Come on Ripper, you were more fun years ago when Giles at the candy bar." Ripper scoffed then grinned.

"Now *that* was fun. Quite a release I must say. Your mum-" he was cut off buy her hand on his mouth.

"One comment about my mother and I swear Giles will wish he could hurt you." she snarled as she released his mouth.

"What? You're going beat me up? Unless you've forgotten you tart, Giles and I are the same bloody person, so I suggest you put me down." Buffy had lifted the Watcher by his collar into the air.

"Oh I haven't forgotten. No, I'm not going to beat you." She grinned. Even Ripper knew that grin. It was bad. It was the same one she wore when she'd treaded the same line as Faith. "No, I'm going make you want to beat yourself. Giles is an excellent Watcher. And I'm a fair actress. Ok, more that fair. You're going to answer my questions-" she placed him in the chair and went over to a book shelf. "-or I'll rip a page from this book," she said, pulling down large tome.

Ripper scoffed. "And I care why?" Buffy smirked and showed him the title. He swallowed.

"No words? Oh, well that's to bad." She held Giles' most prized and protected tome. It was one of the rarest and darkest magic books. _The Grimoire._ "I think we should get started, don't you?" Ripper nodded.

:

:

:

:

A.N. Ok, not where I was originally going to go, but (of course) the muses wanted to poke fun at me. They always due. Please review.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Good. Now, why is Giles going to leave?" Ripper instantly grinned.

"Since when do you take-"

"Answer the question." she said threatening, a hand hovering over the first page. He swallowed, a Giles like expression flittering over his face.

"He thinks it's best."

"Why?"

"It just is. It's what everyone needs."

"That's bull shit and even you know it." She tightened her grip on the old page and pulled it towards her slowly.

"It would be better for both of you." She let go of the page.

"How?"

"You depend to much."

"I'm not playing games."

"That's the only answer I have." he said with a shrug.

"Ripper, you know that's not good enough."

"No wonder Rupert wanted to leave. I'd preferred to stay, but not now." he said with a distasteful sneer.

"Alright. I won't try to stop you. Leave. I don't care. It's not worth it." she said before slamming the door.

Giles placed his head on the table and fell asleep.

Buffy walked back to her house. There weren't any demons to attack, no muggers to stop. The night was quiet when she left the shop. And it was still quiet when she got home. Dawn was asleep, and Willow and Tara were in their rooms, on the verge of sleep. She quietly made her way to her room and sat on the bed. Hugging her stuffed pig, Buffy laid there until her exhaustion consumed her.

Dawn was the first up in the morning. Her alarm went off at seven, and she actually go up. Yawning, she went into the bathroom, did her morning routine, wen t back to her room and got dressed, then went down into the kitchen. What she found was strange. There was no one in the lower level of the house. Grinning, she pulled a tub of ice-cream from the freezer, grabbed a bowl a spoon, and began eating breakfast.

Willow and Tara awoke as the bus arrived.

"Morning." Tara said right before yawning. Willow smiled and kissed her nose.

"Think she's back?" Willow asked while stretching.

"Probably." Tara replied, getting out of bed. The two quietly went to Buffy's room and cracked open the door. All the blinds were drawn, and she was curled in the center of the bed, the stuffed pig clutched to her chest. There were tear tracks down her face. They shut the door.

"I feel bad. Really bad." Willow whispered.

"You didn't do anything." Tara said, rubbing her arms. "Come on, we can swing by the shop before classes if we hurry.

Half an hour later, Willow and Tara entered the shop, using the spare key. The shop didn't open for another hour. Tara flicked on the lights and Willow shut the door.

"You think he's still in the back room?" the redhead asked.

"Probably." the blond replied. They made their way to the back room and entered. Giles was still asleep, head on the table. Willow flicked on the low lights and opened the window to let in some fresh air.

"Giles." she said after setting at the table. The scotch bottle was almost empty. "Giles!" The British librarian awoke with a start. He jumped and groaned.

"Bloody hell Willow." he said, rubbing his eyes. He really didn't care if he sounded like Spike. His head was pounding and about to split in half, his mouth felt like cotton and his stomach was protesting the scotch from the night before.

"Up late?" she asked sarcastically.

"What do you want Willow?" he asked as everything began flooding his brain. He groaned, knowing he wasn't leaving before he could make any real thoughts. Willow picked up the bottle and removed it from the table.

"I wanted to see how you were doing. Xander-"

"Yes I know, Xander told you what happened last night. Anything else?" Willow frowned. This wasn't like Giles. Not even like the regular hung-over Giles. He was nicer than this.

"Yes, there is something else!" she snapped. "I don't know what happened between you and Buffy, but we went looking for her last night. We found her at the tower, directly in the center. She looked like she was in serious pain. And then, when we told her about you, she ran. I don't think I've seen that look of horror on her face in a long time." Willow said, anger bringing tears to her eyes.

"Giles, we checked on her this morning. She was crying in her sleep. We hadn't heard her come in last night." Tara said gently.

"And what am I supposed to do about that?" he snarled, refusing to let them know he felt guilty.

"Gee, I don't know. Mabey go over there later and try to talk to her about it?" Willow supplied with anger.

"Go." he snarled. Willow stood and left, slamming the door. Tara left after giving him a pitying and hurt look. Giles put his head in his hands.

Buffy awoke at nine. She groaned and tried to go back to sleep, but she couldn't. She hadn't had a nightmare the night before, but the dreams in general had made up for it. And the now developed habit of getting up strait away and not dwelling on here nightmares was kicking in.

She got up, stretched, put down the pig, grabbed some clothing and went to the bathroom. After a quick shower, the Slayer dressed and went down into the kitchen. She strained everything out, got a glass of juice, and went into the basement. After finishing off the juice, she started training just for the fun of it. By the time half of her stretches were done, the doorbell rung. With a sigh, she headed upstairs.

"I'm coming hold on." she grumbled as the bell rang again. She'd ignored it the first time, but went up the second time. She reached the door and opened it. Blinking in the bright sunlight, she saw who it was and debated shutting the door. She opted for it. They placed a hand on the door.

"Can we talk?" Giles asked. Buffy sighed, stepped back and opened the door wider to let him in. "Thank you." She shut the door, saying nothing. She crossed her arms. He was beginning to see that the action may no just me for something to do with her arms, but something to do with defense and self-consciousness.

"What do you want?" she asked softly. "I know you remember, so if it's to say you're sorry, forget it."

"I shouldn't have said what I did."

"That's the point. You said it." she replied, walking towards the living room. She sat down and drew her legs to her chest, getting a small as possible.

"I know I did. I'm sorry. I wasn't right." he said, setting on the couch.

"You were, some. I do depend. I don't want to deal tight now. It's not fair to everyone else, I know that. But I do it anyway." she said with a shrug. He cringed, knowing he was referring to what he'd said while drunk. He took off his glasses and began cleaning them.

"You're not a brat."

"I know that." she snapped. "Why are you here anyway? I thought you were going back to England." she said, catching him off guard.

"Is that what you want?" he asked quietly.

"I doesn't matter what I want." she said in a flat voice. He hated that voice. It meant there was pain that she was hiding instead of letting out.

"It does." he tried to assure her. She shook her head slowly.

"No, it doesn't." He saw her swipe at her face. But when she did it two more times in quick precession, he realized she wasn't swiping. She was wiping away tears. He stood and went over to her. The aspirin he'd taken was working on his headache. He knelt beside the chair.

"I know I was wrong. You're not young, not like I said. You are grown enough. You've seen and done more than any person should have to. You are older than you should be. You know what it means to fight to the death and beyond." he said, squeezing her hand. A tear fell. "It always matters what you want Buffy."

"You said I was thinking of myself."

"I was trying to convince myself it was good to leave. That it was the right thing."

"For who?" Buffy asked, looking down at him and forgiving him. She never really could stay mad at Giles. Except for her 18th birthday. It'd taken him a while to earn her trust back again.

"Everyone."

"Why?" He hesitated. Giles watched her, then looked around the room. He sighed lightly.

"I don't want you all taking the easy way out because I'm here. It wouldn't be right or fair. And I couldn't stay here and see the pain you go through." She tried to reclaim her hand, but he held tighter. "Listen Buffy. I'd thought I'd finished my duties as a Watcher. I didn't want to fade into the background once you were...settled again."

"So why are you here?"

"Because my duties are not finished. They'll never be finished. And I know that I'll always need to be here. I need you all, as strange as that may sound." Buffy laughed slightly. "I should have talked to you all, seen if we could have sorted something out." Buffy sighed softly and rested her head against the arm if the chair, right next to his.

"I'm so tired Giles. It's so hard." she whispered. He stood and pulled the desk chair next to the armchair.

"I know it is-" He broke off as a fresh tear ran down her face. His heart jolted. "What is it?" he asked, gently caressing her hair. One tear feel before she regained control and slipped the mask back into place.

"Nothing." she said, wiping away the droplet. He grasped her chin and forced her eyes to his, locking their gazes.

"Buffy, don't hide from me. I know you. What's wrong? Did something happen before I returned?"

"No."

"Then what's wrong?" Buffy sat up and shifted, removing her hand from his in the process. "Is it about Willow?" Like the night before, she flinched. He frowned. "Did she do something?"

"I don't want-I don't know what you mean." she said.

"You need to talk about it." he pointed out.

"No I don't."

"You're hurting yourself."

"I don't want to talk about it." she said, not even bothering to deny it.

"Buffy-"

"No Giles." she said, standing. She went into the kitchen and down the stairs. He blinked and followed. By the time he got down to the basement, she was at the punching bag, determined to put a hole in it.

"I can't do anything about Willow if you don't tell me."

"There's nothing you can do anyways. It's done." she said while backing up and placing a spin kick on the bag.

"What did she do?" She stopped the bad.

"Damn it Giles! I said I don't NOT want to talk about it!"

"It's eating you alive!" he said, voice raising the equal amount.

"How do you know?!"

"Because I know you!"

"No you don't!"

"I probably know you better than you know yourself! Dear Lord Buffy, you deny yourself anything and everything now!" Buffy's face turned red with anger.

"Then that's MY problem!"

"No it's EVERYONE'S!" They were close to shouting. Buffy turned and went towards the washing machine. She hugged herself, head suddenly hanging.

"Please, leave it alone." she begged quietly. He made his way over to her and placed a hand on either of her shoulders.

"You know I can't and won't do that." She began shaking.

"I can't do it anymore Giles."

"Do what?" he asked, moving a strand of hair from her face. She shook her head.

"Go through the motions. It's not enough. It hurts." He pulled her into his embrace.

"Let me help you."

"You can't. You're leaving." he said with a sniff. He sighed and rested his cheek on her head briefly.

"No, I'm not. I won't leave until I absolutely have to." Buffy tried to smile, but it didn't work.

"Thank you." she said, not even bothering to wipe away the tear.

"Now tell me what I can do to help." he persisted. She broke out of his embrace and hugged herself again.

"You really want to help?" He nodded. "Then kill me." He stared at her in horror. She laughed cruelly at the expression. "I can't do it anymore Giles. They brought me back, with no regards as to what I wanted. What you or Dawn wanted. Anything is better than what I have now." He swallowed, feeling like he was going to be sick.

"Which is?"

"Hell." she said simply. Her words were weighed with emotion. Mostly pain. "All I have is hell." Her face crumbled. "They didn't think- no, didn't believe I could be anywhere else." He felt the bile rising, but moved closer to her. "They ripped me out Giles. I was happy, at peace, complete. And they brought me back. They're torturing me every single moment, and they don't care." she said, a sob at the end. He pulled her back into his arms. "They pulled me from heaven." she cried, her entire body shaking. "And now I'm in hell."

A.N.: Alright, it's only seven pages. But compared to my regular chapter, 20, 50, 100, and over 200, I think that's good. Well, Giles knows. And just to clear it up, no one else does. Yet. I felt that the fight about him leaving had to end quickly. My muse was impatient. Sorry. Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

To say Giles was pissed would be an understament. He was seething with fury. But his desire to comfort Buffy pushed it under control. He held the sobbing woman. He lead her over to the cot that had been used for boxes over the summer then was cleared, and sat down, pulling her with him. Every bit of emotion she'd felt since coming back was pouring out into her sobs.

"Oh Buffy." he whispered, stroking her back. "I'm so very sorry." He rested his cheek on her head. She continued crying. They sat there for a good ten minutes. When she stopped crying, he removed his head and lifted a hand to her cheek, wiping away tears with his thumb. She hiccuped.

"I got your shirt all wet." she said with a wobbly smile. He chuckled.

"It's quiet alright." he assured her. She laid her head back on his chest and took a deep breath.

"What do I do now?" she asked, voice muffled in his shirt.

"What ever you want?" He paused. "Whatever you want that does not include any humans getting killed." he amended. She chuckled.

"So I can't kill Willow?"

"No my dear, you can not. No matter how tempting the option is." She giggles and rubbed her head against his shirt, clutching at the fabric.

"Can Faith do it?"

"No, no one is allowed to kill Willow. Why are you targeting her anyway?"

"Why did you yell at just her?" she countered.

"Touche. I yelled at just Willow since she was, as I'd said, the once I trusted the most to respect the forces of nature."

"Well, I know Xander. He'd only do it if he was close to 100 sure it was right and would go right. Tara... I think she was afraid of what would happen if she didn't help."

"And Anya?"

"Who knows." she said with a shrug. There was a silence that conveyed all they wanted to say.

"You should tell them." he said, stroking her hair once again.

"I don't want to." she said, shifting nervously.

"I'll be there."

"I don't want to hurt them." she said. She felt him stiffen and flinched at the expected rage. Instead, he took a shaky breath and mentally counted to ten.

"And they didn't hurt you."

"Not intentionally."

"You really need to keep your views strait. You're mad at them, ready to kill, Willow mainly, for pulling you from heaven after your well deserved rest, yet you don't want to tell them?"

"Yeah." she said with a nervous chuckle. He sighed.

"You are a very strange woman Buffy."

"You're just NOW figuring this out?!" she asked in mock outrage and bewilderment while standing. He followed her. "Where have you been all these years?!"

"Unconscious?" They shared a brief laugh over the joke. When the amusement died in her eyes, he frowned once more. She hesitantly cupped his cheek.

"I feel bad...all those times you were hurt because of me." She ran her thumb over a hidden scar in his eyebrow. "Angel...us tortured you because of my selfishness." she said, sadness in her voice. He gently grabbed her wrist, brought her hand down to his mouth and kissed her finger tips.

"You couldn't have known the consequences." he whispered. She sniffed.

"You've been hurt so many times because of me."

"Don't believe that Buffy. It was my duty to stay by you and guide you. If I happened to acquire a few bumps and bruises-" she snorted. "-then it was worth it."

"Giles, you got more than 'a few bumps and bruises'." she said with a smile. He smiled back.

"That may be so. The point is Buffy, I would take a lot more for you to survive."

"What's the point?" she asked, eyes flashing. "I'll just be brought back anyway." she spat. He held her close.

"No you won't. When your time comes once again, which I'm selfishly hoping isn't for many, many years, you will be able to rest, I promise." he said. Her anger disappeared and she looked into him.

His expression was kind, but after all the years with Giles, she knew what to look for. There was a slight crease by his eyes and she could see that the vein in his temple was beginning to show as it pulsed a little harder. He was angry. And he was good at hiding it.

"Thank you." she said with a smile. He ran the back of his hand on her cheek. She closed her eyes and almost purred at the feel of his soft, yet toughened skin on her on her smooth cheek. Everything feel away as he caressed her. She slowly opened her eyes. He ran his thumb over her lips. The emptiness of her mind stayed as she smiled. Nothing was said, yet they both knew.

"Will you tell them?" he asked.

"Will you be by my side?" she asked, looking directly into his eyes.

"Always." he said.

"The yes, Giles, I will tell them. It's no going to be easy."

"Nothing is ever easy my dear."

"Getting drunk it easy."

"That is not easy. You usually don't get drunk when you want to."

"We did."

"And I do not think I shall ever figure out how."

She chuckled. "You're so British."

"I am British you silly girl." he said affectionately.

"Giles, you stopped being British after six months of knowing me." He grumbled slightly.

"I did not."

"You act like more of an American every day." He glared as her and she started laughing. "It was a joke!"

He placed a hand on the back of her neck and tiled her head back. She stopped laughing. Giles ran a finger over the collective bite marks with a growl. The Master, Angel and Dracula. She shivered, the skin sensitive.

"America is highly over rated." he said wile running the finger across her throat. She swallowed, hard. "It always has been, and always shall be." he said. She almost whimpered at the loss of contact.

"So, is everything American and in America overrated?" she asked while looking at him, eyes slightly glazed. He almost smirked.

"No. Just the country and what it has to offer." Buffy touched his cheek and ran a finger down it, and to the middle of his chest, where she flattened her palm.

"So, since I'm in America, and I'm an American, I suppose that makes me something it has to offer." she said, looking at him and locking gazes. "And that means I'm overrated." He loosened his grip on her neck and lightly massaged the area his fingers had been.

"No." was all he said before bringing his lips to brush hers. She pushed on his lips. He moved his hands, on the small of her back, the other in her hair. She looped her arms around his neck and gasped slightly. He took the opportunity to grab her bottom lip in his teeth. When she moaned, he released her. Their foreheads touched as they tried to catch their breath.

"That was nice." she said. He chuckled.

"'Nice' isn't how I would describe it." She tried to scowl, but it came out as a smile.

"Hmph. Is you say so." She rested her head on his chest. He hugged her and was about to kiss her again when-

_Bang! _The front door was slammed. They jumped apart at the slam.

"Buffy?!" Dawn yelled from the dining room. Buffy groaned.

"This is really unfair." she whispered. Giles kissed her forehead.

"We can see what Dawn want, then head over to the Magic Box. Is that alright?" he asked. She nodded and took a deep breath.

"It's going to hurt her."

"We've been through this."

"But Dawn didn't do anything."

"Buffy?" Dawn asked, opening the basement door. They were hidden from view thanks to the staircase. They quietly pulled apart.

"Coming." she called back. She looked at Giles and slipped her mask back into place. He shook his head, only slightly comforted that the mask also hid her emotions about him from Dawn until the time was right to tell.

Dawn went back into the kitchen and began raiding the fridge. By the time Buffy was up the stairs, there was ice-cream, cookies and pop all over the counter. She hadn't realized they'd own that much junk food. Giles shut the door.

"Hi Giles." Dawn said, only flicking her gaze at him. She snatched a paper from the counter. Buffy frowned.

"Why are you home so early? It's only-" she checked the clock. "-**eleven**?!" she exclaimed, thinking it had been at least one, one thirty.

"School's out?" she suggested. Giles saw her shove her hand in the pocket with the paper. His frowned deepened as he recalled the color.

"Buffy, I believe the pink slip Snyder always threatened you and the others with has been handed to Dawn." Dawn scowled. She'd been planning to tell Buffy in a very different way.

"Suspended. Had it over Dawn." Buffy said with a sigh. When she read the pink rectangle paper, she turned white and red faster in record time. Her mom still held the record though. "You'd better have a VERY good excuse Dawn." she said, looking up from the paper. Giles plucked it form her hand.

"Good lord." he exclaimed before taking off his glasses. He threw the slip to the youngest person in the room and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I can explain." Dawn said. Buffy folded her arms. Giles looked at her and could have screamed. She showed no anger, no disappointment. Just blankness. He was determined to shatter that mask so it created more dust than a vampire.

"Please do." Buffy said while sitting on one of the stools. Giles just stood, rubbing his forehead. He replaced his glasses.

"Well, I was at my locker, and this girl came up to me. She knocked my bag from my hand. I didn't do anything about it except clean up my things. Later in class, I was taking notes-" Buffy snorted. "-and she 'tripped'. So, she was on the floor and everyone was laughing. She got mad and took a swing at me. I jumped from my desk and tried to get away but-"

"Dawn, this said you hit a teacher."

"I was getting there! I couldn't get away because she grabbed my hair and yanked. Well, I kicked her , but the teacher was trying to break it up. I accidently kicked Mr Jisle and knocked him down." Dawn finished. Buffy shook her head and reread the slip.

"'Suspended for five days do to attack on teacher. The teacher was attempting to get Ms Summers off of another student when she turned and punched him in the face.' That says nothing about a kick Dawn." Giles said as he read over Buffy's shoulder.

"Go to your room while I think about this." Dawn stormed off. Buffy sighed and put her head in her hands.

"Once again, what do I do?"

"Punish her accordingly."

"She doesn't follow my punishments." Buffy said. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"We can figure it out later. Come, we can leave for the Magic Box." he suggested.

"I don't want to go yet."

"Buffy-"

"No, I'll go. But not yet." she stated, standing. She went to the stairs in the entryway. "Dawn!" The teenager grumbled and came out of her room, stomping and sulking. "I'm going out. I want you here when I get back."

"Whatever." she said before going back to her room and slamming the door. Buffy turned on her heel and headed out the front door after grabbing her leather jacket. Giles plucked his jacket from the dining room chair and followed, shutting the door. Upstairs, Dawn waited a few minutes before sneaking out.

Watcher and Slayer walked around town, not really talking about anything specific. They walked through one of the parks and around the hill. Taking a shortcut through the woods, they arrived a clearing, of sorts. Neither noticed where they were until it was to late.

They were feet away from Buffy's grave. The usually grassy area was pathetic, since the entire area had been upturned. There was brown and little tuffs of green sticking out of the lumpy soil. They stared a the headstone. Buffy as sucked back in time.

_The Slayer took a deep breath of the musty air into her lungs. Her eyes snapped open, but all she could see was blurs. She became frantic, the almost nonexistent air was suffocating. But she wondered how she was in a padded box until she realized that she wasn't in heaven anymore._

_She began clawing at the cushioning as her lungs screamed for air. Her only thoughts were getting out of the box. But it didn't prove simple. She ripped the fabric and broke through the wood eventually. It wasn't fun. She knew what had happened. She'd been "watching" in a way. The second air invaded her lungs and brain, she wished she'd stayed in the box._

"Buffy?" Giles asked as her face screwed up in anger. She clenched her hands into fists until blood trickled from her palms. He laid a hand on her shoulder. She looked at her hands.

"There's no scaring." she said. He looked from her face, to her knuckles, to the grave, to her knuckles and back to the grave.

"Oh good lord." he whispered.

"You didn't know."

"I suppose everyone else did." he said bitterly.

"I thought you knew." she said in a small voice.

"My god Buffy-I can't even begin to imagine..." he trailed off, looking at her. "No, I'm not angry at you. I may possible take back what I said about killing them." She chuckled slightly, but the amusement didn't reach her eyes.

"It's alright." she said, taking a t step towards him. Her foot knocked a piece of the broken and forgotten urn towards his foot.

"It's not bloody alright. You dug your way out of a coffin." he growled.

"I remember, thank you very much." she said with just a shadow of anger. He sighed and gently took her hands in his.

"I'm so very sorry I wasn't here."

"It's not your fault."

"Buffy-"

"Oh no, I'm not letting you out of this one. I know what happened. Willow told me, and I figure out the rest. They let you leave and later that night they did the spell." she said, looking at the stone. She strode over to it and kicked it, but not enough to break it. She'd do that later. "I'm ready to go now." she said, turning towards the woods.

Giles took a few steps before something under his food cracked. He stopped a knelt down. Frowning, he picked up as much of the urn as possible, then followed her. They took shortcuts through the woods, arriving at the shop in ten minutes. Buffy's bloodied palms were dried. She opened the door and it slammed against the wall.

"Buffy! You're here! Please be more quiet before you scare away the costumers!" Anya said as she came from behind the counter.

The last costumer was just finishing their purchase and left. Anya had to close the shop for lunch anyway. The Scoobies usually met during that hour, sans Dawn of course. Giles followed Buffy. Willow and Tara were already there. Xander came through the back entrance carriyng fast food backs.

"Hey Buff." he said, smiling. "What's wrong?" he asked noticing her bad mood.

"Are you alright Buffy?" Willow asked, standing as Buffy didn't answer. Tara flicked her eyes from Giles, to Buffy, to Giles' hand a few times and swallowed.

"Now I'm not 'alright'." she snarled. Willow's eyes widened. "You're a bitch Willow. How could you?!" she demanded, going to the table. Buffy was reminding them of the ghost thing that passed through the dimensions when she'd been brought back. Giles went to the table and laid down the broken urn. Well, most of it anyway. Willow gulped.

"What is this Willow?" She mumbled something. "What was that?" he asked, eyes blazing.

"The Urn of Osiris." she mumbled. Bad Willow didn't want to emerge right then. Because Ripper was close to making an appearance. Giles growled.

"The stain Willow. I know what the pot was from the designs." No one answered at first, even though only one knew what the stain was.

"'Vino de Madre'." Xander finally said. "I-I think she called it 'wine of the mother'." he said, looking around. Willow's eyes were wide with fear. Giles' knuckles were white as he resisted the urge to strangle her.

"You used DARK MAGICS to bring here back?!?!" he demanded. Buffy was still angry on her own. Anya looked at Xander, not having know it was blood that she's taken by magical influence. Tara looked down, not having thought about that particular ingredient after she'd seen it.

"What is it Giles?" Buffy asked, taking a step towards him.

"What did you use Willow?" he asked, ignoring the Slayer. "Answer me Willow." he snarled, banging his fists on the table.

"I-it had to be done."

"Tell. Me. What. You. Used." he repeated slowly, jaw clenched. Willow moved away before answering.

"A fawn."

"You used magic to call it didn't you?" he hissed. She hung her head. But it snapped up quickly, her eyes darker.

"I did what I had to do to get Buffy back!" she snarled, taking a step towards him. Her anger began radiating off her. Buffy was red with rage. "You would have done the same!"

"No I bloody well wouldn't have! You-do you have ANY idea what you've done?! You've created a dangerous backlash tha-"

"And it'll come back to me!" she said, cutting him off.

"No, it won't." Buffy said, moving next to Giles again.

"How do you know?" Willow asked, returning to herself a little. Buffy's chin lifted as her eyes flashed with fire.

"Because your backlash is on me. I know, because I couldn't feel a god damned thing since I **crawled from my own grave**!"

"That wasn't supposed to happen." Tara said, looking at the floor.

"We save you Buff. You said so yourself." Xander said, trying to calm everything down. He got the gist. Willow was in serious trouble. Giles and Buffy were beyond pissed. Only Tara noticed the flicker in Buffy's eyes.

"Oh Goddess!" she exclaimed, hand to her mouth. "Oh no." Buffy turned to Tara, smiled and turned back to Willow.

"You didn't save me. You didn't think."

"I did think! I though since the moment we buried you!" Willow cried. Buffy let out a cry of rage.

"I wasn't even in the ground a few minutes before you began plotting!" she screeched. "DAMN IT Willow! Why couldn't you let me rest!"

"Because you were in hell. You said so. You jumped and you went to hell." Giles laughed cruelly.

"You really believe a Slayer would go to hell? That BUFFY would go to hell? My lord, you ARE stupid." Giles said.

"She admitted it!" Willow cried.

"I LIED!" Buffy said. Silence fell. "I lied. You all thought you did good. I let you believe it. But I'm tired. You all ripped me from my rest. I've never been to hell, but I know I'm here know! You pulled me from heaven for your own selfish needs!" she said, fists clenched once more. "And you never even thought that my actions as a Slayer would get me some rest." she added quietly. Willow took steps backwards and fell into a chair. "You didn't have enough faith in me that I would be happy. You still don't."

Giles laid a hand on her arm. "Lets go Buffy." he said. His anger wasn't heard in his voice. She nodded, her own anger moving away from him.

"I don't want to hear anything from any of you until you think about what you did." she snarled as they stared at her. Willow and Tara were in tears. Xander was as white as a sheet, and Anya's mouth was open so far, you could rent it out as a motel. They couple left the shop. The door shut and Buffy punched the wall. The brick now had a crater in it. Her knuckles were bloody, and she stared at them.

"It'll be alright." Giles said, taking her hand in his own. He touched each knuckle, unfazed by the injuries. He brought them to his lips.

"No it won't. They don't-" her voice cracked. "They don't understand what they did Giles. They probably never will." He stroked her hair and pulled her to his chest. She cried. "It's not fair Giles! All I wanted was for everything to be fine. It was! Everyone was grieving, but there was no hell on earth and I was the only one of us dead!" Sobs shook her body with her words. His anger flared again. He knelt on the sidewalk as her knees gave out.

"I know darling, I know." he whispered, a tear running down. He shot his gaze to the shop. Inside, the four Scoobies shivered.

"I want to go home." she whispered, looking at him. He wiped away a tear with his thumb then traced her lips.

"My poor girl." he said in a low voice before standing and lifting her. He frowned at her light weight, but didn't comment. His anger for the others and the love for her gave him the strength to carry her to her house. (It's sappy, I know) He unlocked the front door and carried her up the stairs.

She had fallen asleep on the way there, so he just laid her on the bed. After covering he with a blanket, he started towards the stairs and paused when he passed Dawn's room. He heard nothing. Opening the door, he saw Dawn wasn't in the room. He knew she was nowhere in the house.

He growled and went into the living room and began looking through bookshelves. He selected an old novel he was sure had been put there for him or Willow. What he found when he pulled the book away from the shelf completely set his blood a boil. Lethe's Bramble, the flower used in memory charms and mind control spells. He crushed the bag in his hand. If Willow thought she was in trouble before, then she was going to be in for a very large surprise.

AN: Comments? Anyone? Only ten pages. More with Ripper, Giles, Buffy and the gang coming to a computer near you! promotional music in the Buffy theme song


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ripper paced, the book forgotten. The dried flowers in the bag were turning to powder, his hands were clenched so tightly. As much as he enjoyed the Dark Arts, he wasn't going to tolerate a novice witch meddle anymore than she already had. She had no clue what she was doing anymore, and they all knew it. Well, the adults did anyway. Even Spike knew it.

"Circle, I summon thee. Bind the witches magic. Chaos, I invoke thee. Show the Rosenberg witch what it means to dabble in the dark." he said in a sharp voice. The air around him crackled with power. "Through the darkness, show the darkness." he hissed, eyes narrowed as he saw the Dark Magic swirl before his eyes, just like it had when he'd been younger.

Slowly, the magic receded, the air returned to normal. He paced. After a while, he heard Dawn enter the house. He growled, but didn't go up the stairs. Giles went into the kitchen and quietly heated the kettle while getting a mug from the cabinet. After the tea was heated, he poured a cup and headed up the stairs, just a quietly. Daw had on headphones and didn't hear him.

He pushed open Buffy's door, slipped in, and shut it. He made his way to the side of the bed and sat down the mug. Buffy was curled into a ball, the stuffed pig clutched to her chest like a lifeline, tear streaks running down her face. Giles frowned in worry and Ripper growled with anger. He sat on the bed and ran his knuckles across her face. Her eyes slowly opened and she gave him a ghost of a smile.

"Hey." She looked around. "How did we get here?"

"I carried you here." he said. She frowned and sat up.

"Are you alright?" He cocked an eyebrow and thinned his lips at the question. "What?! I was only asking." she said, crossing her arms and huffing. Her eyes fell on the mug as she scanned the room, and it was her turn to raise an eyebrow, and he shrugged.

"I though you might want some."

"What is with you British and tea?" she asked, picking up the mug never the less.

"It is a custom we've carried on through the ages." he said while polishing his glasses. Buffy rolled her eyes and sat it back down. "Are you feeling better now?"

"No." She smiled slightly at his worried look. "I'll never feel better about what they did Giles. Never. But at the moment...I'm not homicidal angry." He smiled in relief and placed a hand on her face. She nuzzled his hand. Ripper grinned.

"Dawn was out. She returned minutes before you awoke." The Slayer groaned.

"Way to kill the mood." she said while putting a pillow over her head. She removed the pillow and glared. "I think I may have just changed my mind." Ripper smirked and leaned down, pressing his torso into hers.

"Looks like I'll have to change it back." he said before capturing her lips in a bruising kiss. Her hands romanced as he possessed her mouth. When they surfaced for air, her hands rested on his shoulders. "Do you know how much I love you?" he asked, puncturing each word with a kiss. She pretended to consider the question while smiling and following his lead.

"As much as I love you." she said before pulling her head out of his reach. She stroked his forehead. "We should stop." she whispered. Through the walls, they heard Dawn get up and leave her room. Buffy heard the bathroom door shut. "She was gone at least an hour."

"And what are you going to do about that?"

"Hand her to the others? Ok, mabey not." she added at his glare. She sighed. "Giles, I don't know what to do."

"What happened to the Buffy who always enforced her own rules?" he asked with a playful grin. "I distinctly recall a tempered girl who went by no one else's rules, consequences be damned." She sighed.

"Her mother died, leaving her with a ball of energy sister, who was used to almost suck the world into hell. Then the girl died, and the ball of energy sister lived to take on her sister's rule problem." she said, looking at the ceiling. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again.

"You are amazing." he said. She looked at him and smiled.

"Thank you very much." she said.

"Now go and punish the little chit." he said. She snorted, but did as she was told. Except she yanked him from the room also. He shook his head and went down the stairs, oblivious the glare she used to put holes in his back. Buffy leaned against the wall opposite the bathroom. A few minutes later, Dawn exited the room. She looked at Buffy, startled.

"Where did you go?" Buffy asked, not leaving the wall.

"What?"

"When you went out, where did you go?" she repeated, arms folded across her chest. Dawn looked around nervously. "Well?"

"No where. I stayed here." she lied. Buffy pushed off the wall and was in her face in a few steps.

"Do NOT lie to me right now Dawn. Now, tell me where you went." she said, placing a hand by the side of Dawn's head. When Dawn didn't answer, she sighed and her hand instantly shot into her jacket pocket.

"Hey!" Dawn said, trying to pull away. All Buffy had in her hand was a string with a tag on it. A price tag.

"Hmm. What is this to?" she asked, dangling the tag. She turned and went into Dawn's room. The teen followed, alarmed. "Tell me where the thing is Dawn, or so help me, I will tear this room apart." she snarled. Dawn went over to her jewlery box, pulled out a bracelet, and handed it over. "Are you sure this is it?"

"Yes." Dawn snapped. Buffy narrowed her eyes.

"You snuck out, and got this where?"

"I didn't leave." she said. Buffy closed her eyes against her anger.

"So help me Dawn, if you tell me one more lie-" she broke off and took a deep breath. "Where. Are. The. Other. Items?" she asked, slowly and pointedly. Dawn knew there was no point in denying it any longer. With a sigh, she went back to her jewelry box, opened it and pulled out the top holder. He handed the box to Buffy.

The Slayer was in shock. She recognized some of the items from the Magic Box. "Those are Tara's earing!" she cried, shifting through the contents. "Dawn, how could you?!" Dawn ran from the room and made it to the top of the stairs. Still clutching the box, Buffy went after her, jumped and landed in the center of the stairwell. Giles came from the kitchen when he heard the thump caused by the Slyer's landing. He found Dawn a few steps away from Buffy, her expression one of fear.

"Buffy, what on earth is going on?" he asked, cleaning his glasses. She turned her head and looked at him. She threw the box down. He caught it with a lifetime's worth of reflexes. Dawn watched in horror as Giles lifted the lid. She was petrified to the spot as Ripper replaced the lid, anger written all over his face.

"How DARE you steal! It's not bad enough that-" He broke off, eyes blazing. "We watched you, all summer. Every last one of us took care of you!" he roared. Dawn was attempting to back up the stairs, but the Slayer grabbed her wrist.

"You're going to take that box, and we're going to the Magic Box, and then to the other places those things came from. You're going to return the items then work everything out with the owners to work off the debt. Understand?" she stated, growling the last word. Dawn nodded, eyes glossing with tears. "And crying won't help." Buffy snarled before going down the stairs. Dawn winced when she heard the basement door slam. Ripper glared.

"Go into the living room." he commanded. She went. He turned and made his way into the basement. Buffy was bitting her nails, something she NEVER did, and pacing. She flicked her gaze to Ripper and stopped.

"I know I'm a bad parent, but-" she broke off, tears forming, as she looked away from him. "I didn't see how bad things had gotten between Dawn and me. I thought she was just upset because-" she hiccuped and locked gazes with Giles. Even as she struggled not to, she was close to crying. Her calming attempts broke and she cried. Buffy rushed over and threw herself into his arms. He held her.

"You're not a parent Buffy, you're a sister. You shouldn't have to take care of Dawn alone. I know Willow and Tara could-no should be helping." he said as she cried. "And as for Dawn herself, she could learn to leave tings where they are." She laughed wetly. He pulled away slightly, and wiped away a tear.

"Why can't it all be that simple?" she asked. He cupper her cheek. She wiped her eyes and kissed his hand before stepping away. She turned and headed up the stairs, everything clamped down. Ripper growled and Giles sighed, following her up the stairs and into the livingroom.

"Buffy?" Dawn asked, standing.

"Let's go." was all she said before going to the door, grabbing her keys and jacket, and heading for the car. Dawn bowed her head and followed. Giles was behind the girls, locking the door.

The ride was silent. Buffy was looking out the passenger window, Giles was concentrating on the road (although his knuckled were a little white from his grip) and Dawn was looking at her shoes. They arrived at the Magic Box, and the couple's tempers flared at seeing the Scoobies inside through the window.

"Dawn, I want you to take this and go inside. You're going to return everything to them." Buffy instructed, handing over the box. "Then, you'll talk with Anya about working off the debt and we'll go anywhere else, got it?"

"Yeah." Dawn said, clutching the box and opening the door. Giles unbuckled his seatbelt and cupped Buffy's cheek at her questioning gaze.

"I'm going in with her. You should stay out here."

"Make sure she doesn't say I'm out here." she instructed as he got out of the car. He flashed her a smiled and followed Dawn. Buffy leaned back into her seat with a sigh, and waited.

Inside the shop, the four were still at the table.

"We're closed." Anya called, not looking up.

"I'm not here to buy something." Dawn said, going towards them. Giles stood by a table with crystals, arms crossed, scowling at the five people. No one looked him in the eyes.

"Then what are you here for?" Anya asked. Dawn walked forward, put the box on the table, and stepped back. Both away from the group and Giles. They pulled themselves out of their self-pity and anger to look at the box. Willow opened it and frowned.

"It's your jewelry box, so-" she broke off, looking at the contents. Her eyes widened. "Dawn!" she said, throwing the down the box and standing. The items spilled all over the table. Anya was quickly scanning the things. Most of it belonged to the group, only about six items were for other stores.

"This is how you repay me?!" she demanded, scooping up the things. "I helped you, I cared for you!" Xander grabbed her arm.

"Dawn, this is serious." he said. Tara picked a pair of earrings from the large pile about to fall from Anay's hand.

"My-my earrings. These were my grandmother's." she said, looking at the stones.

"Dawn." Willow said angerly. Giles suppressed a snort and kept watching.

"I'll work it off." she said in a low voice. Anya placed the things on the table and Xander released her. She went over to the teenager.

"You will do more than work it off!" she snapped. "I work hard to keep the money coming back to this store." The ex-vengeance demon stormed to the back room, slamming the door. Xander glared at Dawn before following. The witched turned to her, on in anger, one in disappointment. She broke down in tears.

An hour later, Giles walked to Buffy's station wagon. Dawn had begun working off the moeny immediately. It was almost $300. He shook his head. It was disgusting. With a sigh, he continued to make his way to the car. He was about to open the driver's door when he saw Buffy was asleep. With a smile, he quietly climbed in and watched her. His smile changed as she whimpered.

"Buffy?" he asked, gently shaking her. He shifted and looked her over at the pained expression on her face. Only then did he notice the way her hands were moving on the seat; they were like cat claws, extending the nails and raking them back. She jerked, the dream having complete control on her. Suddenly, she awoke, her hands instantly racing out to understand where she was. More importantly, where she wasn't.

"Buffy?" he questioned. She saw it was Giles and blinked back tears. He could see the naked terror in her eyes and pulled her close. "Oh my dear." he breathed, rubbing her back.

"I-I can't sleep anymore." she whispered, refusing to let the tears fall.

"You've slept since I've seen you." he replied, stroking her hair. She laughed, some what cruelly.

"I've been able to sleep this past week, that's it. Nightmares don't bring rest Giles." she said, staring off into space. He wondered what she saw. Her eyes dried and hardened, the vulnerability of pain burnt away by her resolve. He sighed and sat back in his seat, starting the car.

"I do know that Buffy. I've spent years having nightmares, decades actually." he said, not looking from the road.

"I know." she said softly. He locked gazes with her in the mirror. She looked away, blushing slightly. "I-I went to your place a few years ago. I didn't want to wake you, since you'd been up for more then a few days strait, researching. I heard you. It sounded horrible. You-you didn't respond to me trying to wake you, so I stayed until early morning, then left. I'd never felt so helpless or useless." she said. His heart wept. He never knew. He removed a hand from the steering wheel, and squeezed her hand.

"It wasn't your fault Buffy. There was nothing that could wake me from those nightmares short of a demon attack." he assured her while replacing his hand.

"What were they about?" she asked quietly after a few minutes. He frowned and she sunk into her seat a little. "I'm sorry-"

"No, no, it's alright. It's just that... My nightmares contained things even you haven't faced Buffy." She nodded, knowing it wasn't good for either of them if he told.

"So you still have them?" she asked as he turned a corner.

"Not those specif nightmares; at least, not all the time. Although, I believe my current nightmares would be-are a relief in comparison to yours." he amended. She wrapped her arms around her chest, then forced them down. They arrived at her house. Buffy headed up the stairs, and he followed her. When he realized she was going to her room, he stopped. She beckoned him in.

"Sorry about the mess." she muttered. He shook his head and waited as she went to her hidden weapons chest and pulled out a sword. She carried it over to him. "Found this on patrol a couple of days ago."

"Hmm. I'll have a look at it later." he said while taking a quick glance at the item to be sure it wouldn't cause them immediate danger. He looked at her and noted the dark circles under her eyes. For some reason, the low lighting of the room caused light to shine through the makeup on her face. He took her hand and lead her to the bed. "You need to sleep."

"I'm not tired." she growled. His eyes widened, but he didn't retreat. He set down the sword. She watched him, wearily. She'd quickly gotten used to the other's smothering-wanting her to be better, faster, with no complications, don't whatever they could to make it happen-but that didn't mean she like it.

"Buffy, you're exhausted. You'll need to patrol tonight, and you're in no condition." he said, placing a hand on her shoulder and looking at her tenderly. Her being softened with emotion before snapping back.

"Didn't we establish that I don't like sleeping?" she snarled, but staying put. He could have growled, and vowed to give the group a very long lecture.

"Yes. I'll stay right here." he promised. He walked towards the bed and gently pulled on her hand, which was not being held in his. "Lay down and rest." he said. She sighed and kicked off her shoes. If anyone cold get her to do something, it was Rupert Giles. After she climbed into bed, he closed the blinds, shut off the light, and took a seat in her vanity chair. She turned to look at him.

"Giles." she said softly, eyes hooded. He looked her in the eyes. "You need rest to." He shook his head.

"I'm fine Buffy."

"No you're not." she retorted. "Come here." she said in a low tone. He tilted his head. "Please?" she added. He kicked off his shoes and went to her. She opened her arms and he laid next to her on the small bed. "Thank you." she mumbled into his chest.

"Rest Buffy, rest." he said, stroking her hair. She sighed again and allowed herself to drift off. He wrapped his arms around her and soon followed her into sleep.

A little over a month went by. Buffy wasn't talking to the group, save Dawn, Tara and Willow had a heated argument about the resurrection spell, but made up, and Willow and Giles had an even worse argument when she realized her magic was bound.

_Giles was in the Magic Box, reading. Buffy was at the Sunnydale Fitness Center applying for a self-defense or couching job. Willow walked into the shop, slamming the door._

"_Hey! Willow, don't damage the door." Anya commanded with a scowl. Willow stormed over to Giles._

"_What did you do to me?" she demanded, eyes stormy with anger. He calmly shut the book and stood._

"_I bound you." he said simply._

"_Why? How?" He smiled darkly._

"_You're abusing the powers given to you. And as for the how...Chaos it such a wonderful thing." he said with a smirk that was pure Ripper. Willow screamed in rage and "borrowed" magic from the people of the town._

"_Lanzar!" she said, making a back handed arch. Ripper just grinned and reflected the spell right back to her. She was sent fling and almost landed on a table of crystals, but stopped inches form landing by a wave of his hand. He was by her side._

"_Never underestimate the powers of the gods and goddesses. Never underestimate the knowledge of those older and far more studied in the arts of magic. And never underestimate me." he said, voice softening the entire time. He released her after moving her away from the table. She fell to the ground._

"_How DARE you?!"_

"_I dare because you need to learn respect for the forces of nature." he growled, taking a step towards her. She backed away and he smiled darkly once more. "What is the matter Willow? Are you afraid now?" he taunted. She snarled, her hand flying. He grabbed her wrist, and pinned it behind her back as he spun her around, her back to his chest. "Don't ever try that again, or I shall show you the meaning of dark magic." he said before walking out the store._

Giles and Buffy told Dawn that they were together-or rather, Buffy told Dawn then almost lost her hearing to the high-noted squeal. Dawn was on the couple's side of the fight with the Scoobies. Spike was still helping Buffy, and his stalking/harrassement was to a very minimum. Anya and Xander were married, the demon had been killed before he even talked to Xander, since Buffy had been on alert. It was Sunnydale after all.

Giles looked across the table at Buffy. She was working on a schedule for her self-defense class. Well, appearing to anyway. In reality, she was tapping the pen on her other hand, and staring at the paper.

"Buffy." he called for the third time. She looked up, smiling. There was distant gleam in her eyes, the same haunted look she got after a nightmare.

"Yeah Giles?" she asked.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine." she said, her eyes sparkling instantly with love.

"What are you thinking about?" he inquired.

"Nothing." she said, averting her gaze. He stood, walked over, and sat in the chair next to her. He took her hand.

"You don't have to talk to them."

"Willow and Tara live here." she said with a sad sigh.

"Do you want them to continue living here?" he asked, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.

"I-I don't know. I'm not really mad at Tara, because I know she didn't want to do it. I knew-I saw them arguing about it." she shook her head. "Willow scared Tara, not that I blame Tara. And Willow always went on and ON about my being in hell. She squashed the-" she broke off.

"'Squashed' what Buffy?"

"The others, Xander and Tara, they suggested once, that I may not 'ave been in hell. Willow wouldn't hear it. She always had her way." She looked into his angry eyes.

"That is no excuse. She didn't have to do the spell."

"She was worried. Come ON Giles, you know more about magic then I ever will. You know that Willow would have been really hurt if she tried that damn spell with three people. Or herself."

"Buffy... There is nothing I can say to justify what was done. I wouldn't have done it. But you're here, with me. I'm very happy for that." he said, placing a hand on her cheek. "I love you Buffy."

"Love you too." she said, leaning in for a kiss. They brushed lips before resting their foreheads together. Giles' watched beeped, signaling it was three. She laughed softly. "You've got a meeting-go." He gave her smile, a quick kiss, an left. The Sunnydale Museum found out he used to be the Curator of the British Museum and began calling him for consults. He made good money. Buffy sighed, knowing he was going to be gone for hours.

A few hours later, Buffy was patrolling the town. She'd caught the Geek Trio attempting to execute a plan for robbing an armored (bank) truck heist. After stopping them, and calling the cops, she went on with her patrol.

"Slayer." a vampire growled from behind her. She instantly did a back-flip, causing her to land behind the demon. It turned and threw a punch. They fought and she blocked his kick.

"How hard are you going to kick when you're dust in the wind?" she asked before staking him. The vamp managed to jump and kick her into a headstone before turning to dust. She stood, holding her back. "That was rhetorical." she said with a groan. The blond woman made her way to Revello drive, holding her back. She went up the stairs and began drawing a bath, wondering what Giles was doing...

An hour later, that's where Rupert found her, in the tub. He'd searched the house, worried, when she hadn't answered him as he called her name.

"Buffy?" he asked, knocking. He turned the knob and entered the bathroom, taking in the shocking screen immediately. A torn shower-curtain, misplaced bath-rug, fallen shelves and Spike's duster on the toilet.

"Hey Giles." she said, not looking up. He heard the hoarseness in her voice and knelt beside the now bubble filled tub.

"What happened?" he asked, touching her cheek with his fingertips. She flinched but didn't pull away. When she looked up at him, he saw her bloodshot eyes, swollen from crying.

"S-Spike stopped by." she said, averting her gaze. His eyes hardened.

"What did he do?" Buffy sniffed and clutched his hand, trying to steady her own shaking hand.

"He-he-" She cried, unable to tell. He tried to sooth her. After a few minutes, she regained her composure. "I'd just came in from patrol..."

_..The bathroom door opened. "Are you hurt? You're not movin' so well." Spike asked. He shut the door she went over by the sink._

What now?_ "Get out." she said, looking into the basin of the sink._

"_We have to talk." he said, moving away from the door. She turned around, shaking her head slightly._

"_I really don't."_

"_Well, this isn't just about you...as much as you'd like it to be." he stated. Buffy crossed her arms. She was tired and hurt._

"_You spoke, I listened. Now leave." she commanded._

"_I'm sorry. Not that it matters anymore, but I needed you to know that."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because I care about you." _Fucking liar. _her mind sneered. "You should've let him kill me." Spike said softly, looking at the rug. Buffy averted her gaze momentarily. She knew he was referring to the Initiative._

"_I couldn't do that."_

"_Why?" he asked as she went over to the tub and shut off the water._

"_You know why."_

"_Because you love me."_

"_No, I don't." she said, voice strong. _God, this is pathetic. He **knows** I'm with Giles

"_Why do you keep lying to yourself?" he asked, moving towards her. His voice sounded strange, but she brushed it off._

"_Why do you keep lying to yourself?"_ It's pointless Buffy. you know he doesn't care about you except for being his Slayer

"_How many times–I have feelings for you, I do. But not love." Her voice takes an angry and disgusted edge as she spits out the words._

"_Spike please stop this." she asked, rolling her eyes heavenward._

"_Let yourself feel it." he almost whispered, moving right in front of her. He grabbed her left wrist and right hip in a very hard grip. She pushed him away slightly._

"_No!" He moved back to her._

"_You love me." he said, grabbing her upper arms, shaking her as she tries to make him let go._

"_Ow, no, stop it! Spike, quit it!"_

"_You love me." His face is red as he grabbed part of the bathroom._

"_Spike, stop! Ow! What are you doing? Ow!"_

"_You love me." he said again, trying to convince her. They continue, him grabbing at her robe, she trying to get away. Buffy slips, tries to grab the shower curtain and hits her injured back on the tub. There's a cracking sound._

"_Ow! Oh!" she grunted, pain racking her body. Spike grabs her, pressing his forehead to hers and trying to kiss her. She continues struggling._

"_Let it go. Let yourself love me." Buffy continues grunting on pain as she tried to fight him off. He keeps grabbing for her flailing arms. "Buffy, Buffy."_

"_Spike, no! Ow, I'm hurt." she cried out in protest. He kept trying to kiss her. She fell to the side, towards the door. He gets atop her, grabbing and her thigh and back, then flipped her over. She really protesting now. "Ow! Don't! No!" The Slayer is now just a woman fighting for her dignity as he pined her wrists to the floor, straddling her. She cried in pain as he hissed. "Stop! Ow! Stop it!" she pleaded, chocking._

_"You felt it, beforehe came back."_

_Buffy grunts in pain, tears running from her eyes. "No! No!" she kicks him away and crawls a little before he grabs her ankle ans yanks her back to him, resuming his position from before. "Please, please! Spike, please stop." she cried, half sobbing. She can't even think, except that she knows what's going to happen._

"_You'll feel it again Buffy-"_

"_Please don't do this!" she sobbed, renewing her struggles._

"_-I'll make you feel it again!" he said, snatching her robe and tearing it, exposing her breast._

"_Stop!" she screamed. With a last burst of Slayer strength, she kicked him off. he flew into the sink. realization passed over his feature._

_"Oh, god Buffy-I didn't-" She stood, clutching her torn rob in place._

_"I don't love you. I never have. I love Rupert Giles." she said, tears running down her face. He ran from the bathroom. Sobbing, the blond got into the tub..._

Her sobs renewed as she told the story. He put a lid on his anger and put his arms around her, regardless of the water.

"Oh my dear." he sighed. He rubbed her back, attempting to soothe her. "Dear, sweet, heart." he whispered. After ten minutes she quieted and pulled from his embrace. He cupped her face in his large hand. She shivered and he noticed the water was cold. "You should get out Buffy. You're going to get a cold." Buffy nodded but didn't move to get out of the tub.

"Well?" she asked, looking pointedly at him then the door, eyebrow raised. He flushed and stood.

"Quiet." he mumbled to himself while shutting the door. Buffy smiled sadly and gripped the edges of the tub and hoisted herself out. She hissed as she straitened. There were bruises on wrists, thighs and back, which were the worst because of the graveyard injury and hitting the tub. Steeling herself, she stepped over the edge and went to where the long bath-towels were kept and wrapped one around her.

The door opened and Giles ceased his angry pacing, head snapping to look at her wet face. Ripper growled as he looked her over, eyes narrowing as he found her wrists. She put them behind her back.

"Better luv?"

"I will be." she said, heading towards her room. Ripper followed and was almost hit in the face when the door was shut behind him. He paced once more. On the other side of the door, Buffy went to her closet and pulled out a long sleeved turtleneck along with a pair of dark jeans that were loose. After dressing, she went back outside, his pacing driving her mad.

"Buffy?" he asked, head titled to the side. He knew she understood the unasked question. They communicated without words, as a good pair of Slayers and Watchers do.

"I'm right here." she explained. "But, I don't know, not for sure." Her eyes filled with tears, but she didn't let them fall. "Did I do something wrong Giles? Something do deserve that?" He instantly had his arms around her, holding her tight.

"NO Buffy, never think that." he said fiercely. "There is nothing you could do that would ever warrant what Spike d-tried to do." he corrected.

"He can hit me." she said, sounding like a small child. It was one of the things she'd kept from him. "When the nerd squad stole the diamond, we had a fight. He can hit me without his head exploding." She hiccupped and looked at him, slightly frightened. "I thought about asking Tara but..."

"Oh Buffy..." He couldn't scold her, not then. Mabey later. "My dear." he sighed. The front door opened and closed, but they paid it no mind. Dawn came up the stairs, grumbling.

"Hey Buffy, Giles." she said, going into her her room. Her head popped back out, followed by her body. She made her was to the couple. "What's wrong Buffy?" she asked, noticing the tearstains and red eyes.

"Nothing munchkin. Go get ready for bed." Snorting, Dawn did as she was told. Holding onto her elbow, Giles helped Buffy down the stairs and they went into the living room. She sat on the couch, back to his chest. He gently pulled her into his lap. Dawn came down the stairs, peeked in, smiled, and went into the kitchen.

"I think I'll talk to Tara." she said once she heard Dawn clanking around in the kitchen.

"If you're sure..." he said. "You don't have to."

"I want to." She looked at him. He was holding her in a loose embrace. "You'll stay with me right?"

"Of course." he said, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Buffy, we're out of peanut butter, bananas and Coco Pebbles!" Dawn called from the kitchen. They both snorted.

"Then don't use them all on those disgusting peanut butter quesadillas." she called back before coughing slightly. Giles looked at her worriedly and she shook her head.

"Hahaha." Dawn said sarcastically while carrying a large bowl of ice-cream into the living room and sitting in an armchair, feet tucked under her. Buffy looked at the bowl.

"Gimme." she said, reaching towards Dawn, who hugged the bowl to her chest in mock protectiveness.

"No way. Mine."

"Just a taste." Buffy whined, causing Giles to snort. She glared. "Please?" she asked, drawing it out. Dawn sighed, stood, and handed her the bowl. Actually true to her "just a taste" statement, Buffy only took a spoonful before handing it back.

"Are you sick?" Dawn asked while sitting in her chair again. "You usually scarf down the bowl." Buffy mock glared and settled back int her comfortable position on her honey's embrace. A knock sounded as she closed her eyes. Buffy and Dawn had a staring contest for who was going to open the door. The younger female sighed and got out of her chair, grumbling about Slayer abilities.

"Hey Danwie." Dawn didn't reply, but just shut the door and returned to the living room, in a foul mood. The visitor followed her and stopped in the archway. "Hi Buffy, Giles." Xander said. Despite the fact that Dawn was talking to him and the others, she held a grudge. A major one. She'd gotten satisfaction when they'd figured out Buffy and Giles were together.

"Xander." Giles said in a very British way. Buffy didn't even look at him. "Is there something you require?" Xander sighed.

"It's all over the news. How Warren and Jonathon and Andrew tried to rob the truck. One of the camera's got a shot of you being sent into a brick wall. You alright?" he asked Buffy. She finally looked at him, mask in place.

"Fine, that all you want?" Xander sighed.

"Alright then, I'm sorry if I was worried about you. The others are worried too you know." he added. She didn't respond and looked away. Xander sighed, temper going up a notch. "You know what, everything could be easier if you'd at least talk to us. But I guess that's to much to ask." That did it. Buffy stood swiftly and walked over to Xander. She stood less than a foot away.

"You have NO right to talk about worry Xander. I worried for months about all of you. I watched you deal, and I watched you all let Willow continue with the magic. You want to worry now? Worry about Dawn. Worry about Giles. Worry about yourself. But do NOT come up to me and say you worry about me. I don't need you to, and I don't want you to." she said, whispering the end. Dawn had abandoned her ice-cream and raised from her chair. Giles laid a hand on Buffy's shoulder.

"What happened to ou Buffy?" he asked. She raised an eyebrow. "What made you turn against your friends like this?"

"The betrayal. Not what you did to me, I'm getting over that. But what you did to Giles and Dawn. I know that Willow shot down every objection, but there were three of you besides her. You could have NOT gone through with it. You could have told Giles and Dawn, or at least asked what they wanted." Xander looked at her with an unreadable expression before shaking his head.

"I'm sorry Buffy. WE'RE sorry."

"Sorry's not enough Xander." Giles said, squeezing her shoulder. She leaned into him, everything catching up to her. "But it's a start." Xander raised his head and looked at the older man before nodding and leaving. Once he pulled form the driveway, Buffy sighed and slumped.

"I want to go to bed." she said softly. He nodded and took her hand. They went upstairs while Dawn put her bowl in the kitchen and locked up.

A.N. Any comments? Please review.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Buffy blinked, groaned and rolled over as the sunlight poured through the curtains. Or, she attempted to turn over anyway. Giles blocked her movement. He tightened his hold and muttered something in his sleep.

"Giles." she said softly. "Giiiiles."

"Mmm."

"Wake up Giles."

"Go back to sleep Buffy." he muttered, burying his head in her hair.

"Rupert Giles!" she snapped. He sat bolt upright, his hand falling from her hip. "Finally." she said under her breath.

"Why in the bloody blazes did you wake me up? It's only-" he looked at the clock. "-seven-forty."

"I couldn't get back to sleep. Now that you're up, we can go for walk around town. In the sunlight." she added, looking at the window. He sighed, stood and stretched. Even squashed together, the bed was still to small for both of them. But, neither said anything, so they both suffered. Buffy grabbed some clothing to head for a shower, and he followed her, wondering what was going on with her.

"Buffy-" he tried to stop her, but she'd already went into the bathroom. It had been straitened up, but the evidence of the night before was still there. A broken shelf, shower rod, ripped shower curtain in the trash, and there was a small rip in the rug.

"It wasn't a dream then." she said dejectedly. He gently grabbed her elbow and pulled her from the bathroom, shutting the door.

"Come on, you'll shower downstairs this morning." She nodded and went down the stairs, right in front of him. Since it was a Saturday, no one else was up. Buffy quickly shower, followed by Giles. They ate a light breakfast before quietly leaving.

The couple walked into town. Buffy looked around, hearing slightly muffled. She watched as the town began awakening, seeing everything in more definite colors. Blinking, she shook her head to clear her hearing. The colors faded to what the usually look like. They walked through the park and stopped at the pond. Leaning into Giles, Buffy looked at the water, watching the ducks and fish.

"Will you patrol with me tonight?" she asked, watching as a duck chased another one.

"If that is what you want."

"Thank you."

"Whatever you need." he replied, hesitantly putting an arm around her waist. She sighed.

"This will probably sound cliche, but I'm getting to old for this. I'm tired of my friends and...allies turning against me."

"That doesn't sound cliche." he said. "Buffy, you truly need to think about what you want to do about Willow and Tara." he said gently. She sighed.

"I'm not sure. Really, I think I want Willow to leave and Tara to stay, but they're a couple. They won't leave on another."

"Tara shall probably do whatever she thinks is best Buffy."

"And Willow..."

"Shall do what you want once she grasps the importance of what has occurred."

"And that'll be never." she said with a snort. He removed his arms, grabbed her hand, and gently tugged. She closed her eyes for a moment then followed. It took a little while, but they finally appeared at the edge of the woods.

"Come, I have something to show you."

"Giles..." she said, looking around nervously. He placed a hand on her cheek, distracting her from her thoughts.

"Trust me." he whispered.

"I do." she whispered back. He smiled and pulled her through some thick growth. After a few moments, she gasped. "Oh, wow..." The were a river that flowed, unknown, from the pond. The clean water was silent as it rushed over the rocks. There was a small clearing, about the size of a small gym, and it young trees and flowers. "Giles, this is...wow."

"I found this when you were in college, during one of my runs." he explained. She looked around the area, eyes wide. A hand on her arm made her turn to look at him. He wiped away a tear that was at the corner of her eye. "No crying." she chastened with a smile. She gave him a 1000 watt smiled and walked into the clearing before promptly sitting on the grass. He quietly walked over to her and knelt down as she laid back with a happy sigh.

They stayed in the hidden area for over an hour. The couple talked about many things, from Dawn's school work, to Willow and Tara, to training. The only two things they didn't talk about were that attempted attack the night before (they did talk about Spike's ability to hit her thought) and her emotions/thoughts to what had happened with everything in the last few days (the Nerd Trio, Spike and Xander).

"Would you like to stop for something to eat?" Giles asked as they passed the coffee chop. Buffy looked at him, head tilted, assessing if he wanted to eat. After a few moments, she said no and they continued walking. They walked all around towns, sharing stories and triumphs. The couple stopped for a moment outside Ethan's old costume shop. Giles face darkened as Buffy scowled. They kept moving.

It was nearly four when they finally made it to the house. About eight hours. Dawn was dutifully sitting in the kitchen doing her homework. It was research on Willow's laptop. Willow and Tara were still at collage.

"Hi Buffy. Hi Giles." Dawn called as the door opened.

"Hey munchkin." Buffy said, making Dawn peer over the computer at her sister. She was happy. Not completely fine, there was something lingering in her eyes, but for the most part, she was happy.

"Good evening Dawn." Giles said,

"Giles, we're not in England, you can said 'hey' or 'hi'." Buffy teased, earing a mock scowl. He was about to tell her off, playfully, when the front door opened.

Willow and Tara were home early. Buffy looked at Tara, who entered first, smiling, the Willow, and left the room, not wanting to ruin her good mood. Tara went upstairs to put her things away and headed for the kitchen, where Buffy was. Giles was helping Dawn, and Willow was in the living room, doing who knew what.

Buffy made some tea and looked for the chocolate cookies she knew where in the kitchen somewhere. After a few minutes, she clutched the box and a tray with mugs, tea and the usual sugar, milk/creamer and lemon. She'd acquired the taste for tea while with Giles. It only took six years.

Buffy sat the tray and cookies on the table and took a seat next to Giles, Dawn beside her. Willow and Tara sat in armchairs. Everyone made their tea in silence. Giles broke the silence.

"Tara, there's something I'd like to ask you." Tara looked up, sat down the teacup, and waited, knowing it was serious. He placed an arm around Buffy's shoulder and she leaned into him. "I need all possible information you can gather on the resurrection spell as soon as possible." Willow and Tara stared for a few moments.

"Of course." she replied. Dawn looked out the window and went to the door, knowing who was walking up the pathway should hear. She put her finger to her lips and resumed her seat. "Is there anything specif you want me to look for?"

"The changing of molecular and spiritual structure." he said, eyes connected with hers. "It seems something in the spell is now throwing the sensors in Spike's chip off. He can hit Buffy." Three intakes of breath. Dawn had been told earlier so she would be calmer by the time Willow arrived from classes.

"W-what?" Xander asked, shocked. "Hit? As in pain wise? With none for him?"

"Yes." Buffy said in a small voice. She burrowed further into his embrace and felt the last of her bruises protest at the movement.

"I'll see what I can find, but I'm not sure it'll be easy or fast." Tara said.

"I'll help." both Willow and Xander said. Neither Giles or Buffy said a word. Tara stood and went over to the couch before kneeling in front of Buffy,

"It'll be alright." she said. "I'll do whatever I can to fix everything." Buffy nodded, understanding that the witch meant more than just Spike being able to hit her.

"Thank you." she said, holding the offered hand. Tara nodded and returned her to her seat.

"You don't have to thank me-us." she said. Buffy gave a slight nod before looking at the rug in front of the couch.

"Buffy..." Since they'd talked about Willow and Tara earlier that morning, she'd made a decision about what to do.

She steeled her resolved and faced that three friends that were spread out slightly.

"Willow, Tara, I've got something else to ask you." She looked at her hands, fiddling with them. Giles place da hand on her shoulder and smiled encouragingly.

"You can do this." She nodded.

"I-I want you guys to move out for a while." Willow stared at her, Tara just nodded, as if expecting it. Buffy turned to Tara. "I'd hate for you to leave, but I don't want to keep you from Willow." Giles cleared his throat slightly.

"I-I think it would be b-better if W-Willow and I had s-some t-time apart." she said, stuttering nervously wile looked between the couple and her lover. Willow looked like she was about to cry and Tara's expression hardened.

"You may stay here if you wish, Tara." Giles said, watching both witches.

"What?! This is just to get me out, not both of us!" Willow yelled standing. Xander was out of his chair just as fast. Buffy let got of Giles and stood, her feelings of pain and betrayal evaporating in anger.

"Not everything is about you Willow! I'm doing this for myself, Giles and Dawn. Would you rather the world go to hell or be destroyed when the next big bad comes? Cause, that's what's gonna happen if I don't get back to normal. You're not even trying to help anyone! You're just sulking and trying to get your magic back!"

"What the hel-"

"No!" Dawn yelled, standing between Buffy and Willow, who'd taken a step towards the blond. "I'm still super pissed at you Willow. I'm not gonna hide that anymore. You know you did wrong. What you should be doing to trying to help Buffy and Giles with the demons and stuff instead of complaining."

"I'm not!"

"You are! Whenever they're not around to hear, it's always 'poor me' this and 'mean Giles or Buffy' that. It's annoying!"

"I've gonna agree with Dawn Wilsters." Xander said, standing next to Dawn to block Willow's path even more. "I admit, we haven't been helping them. But I, even ANYA, doesn't complain as much about the consequences of what we've done." Willow's eyes darkened with anger and the room started feeling empty of air. But Willow couldn't draw any magic. Everything magical that Giles did not do, was cut off from her. So, she was somewhat protected from demons, but she had absolutely no access to magic.

"Willow." Tara said disappointedly. "How could you even try that?"

"I-I-"

"I believe it's time for you to leave Willow." Giles said, stepping between Dawn and Xander. The redhead looked at her lover, whose head rose, expression hard and determined. Tara wasn't a meek as they all thought. Through the return of Buffy and Giles, she'd hardened quiet a bit. Willow hung her head and left, Xander right behind her. They four stood in the living room, waiting until they heard the car drive off. Then they sighed and slumped in relief.

"Tara, thank you." Buffy said.

"It's true." the other blond admitted, looking at her feet for a second. "What I'd said. Willow and I do need time alone. And I'd like to help, however I can." She smiled and ruffled Dawn's hair. "Even if it means making funny shaped pancakes." They all laughed.

Giles hesitantly placed a hand on Buffy's hip. She jumped and quickly muttered an apology and forced a yawn for effect. The couple made their way up the stairs. Dawn and Tara stood in the living room.

"Are you gonna be ok?" Dawn asked. Tara smiled.

"Yeah Dawn, I will be." Dawn looked at the ceiling, a worried expression flittering on her face.

"I think somethin' happened to Buffy."

"Like what?" Dawn said she didn't know and preceded to tell Tara about what she'd seen the night before. Tara frowned, but couldn't think of anything.

"I might have just saw Buffy having a bad sec, but I don't think so."

"I think we should just wait before jumping for conclusions." Tara said. Dawn nodded and they headed for bed.

AN: Any ideas? Comments? Please review.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Tara was making breakfast when the brown haired teen entered the kitchen.

"Buffy and Giles up yet?"

"No." Dawn grumbled, putting her head on the counter.

"What's wrong?"

"Couldn't sleep last night." Tara raised an eyebrow. "Too many thoughts."

"Hmm." The blond finished stirring the eggs and set the pan on the island along with bacon and toast. They ate with minimal talking.

Buffy came down the stairs, followed by Giles. It was evident they'd been awoke by something unpleasant during the night. Tara and Dawn guessed correctly that the interruption was a nightmare.

"Morning." Buffy mumbled, sitting at the island before laying her head in her arms with a sigh. Giles sat next to her and placed an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him.

"Late night?"

"Don't ask." the Slayer told her sister.

"Giles, do you want some tea?" Tara asked as she pulled down a mug for herself.

"If you would be so kind." he replied, watching Buffy with concern. She raised her head and looked at him with a faint smile.

"I'm fine."

"You need sleep."

"It's daytime."

"All the better.

"I've got-"

"Nothing to do." Giles interrupted. "Eat some breakfast and go to back to bed." Buffy raised her head and glared at him. He held her gaze until she sighed and flopped her head back down again.

Tara watched Buffy with an expression that could only be called curious. She was determined to find out what was wrong with the Slayer.

"So what are you doing today Giles?" the witch asked as Dawn started clearing away the dishes. Startled, Giles looked at her and blinked before answering.

"I'm going to do some personal research here," he replied, suspicious. In other words, he was staying with Buffy all day.

"Bu-Buffy, if y-you have time t-today, could w-we t-t-talk?" Tara asked nervously, her shy stutter making itself known. Buffy looked at the witch for a minute before agreeing and standing. Giles also stood and took her hand, ready to put her back in bed.

"Dawn, go to school and be good," Buffy said before rounding the corner into the hall and up the stairs.

"That's it?"

"Dawn, j-just do what B-Buffy said. Y-you need to get to s-school." Dawn hugged Tara and headed out to the bus stop.

Two hours later, Tara sat in Buffy's room, hugging her friend. Giles had been reluctant to tun to the store for the food to make dinner, but had went anyway.

Both females were clutching each other, and in tears. Buffy had told Tara of the nigh before, and Tara had returned the favor by telling Buffy about her childhood. Everything ended in waterworks. And that was how Giles found them, clutching at each other and dry tear streaks on their sleeping faces.

"Ow," was the first thing Tara said as she awoke. Sleeping in the position she had wasn't good for the spine. Or ribs.

"Waz it?"

"You're awake?" Giles asked while sticking his head in the room. "Ah, good. I've been back for a few hours. Did-did you have a nice talk?" he added to the two females. They nodded and rose from the bed, stiff and numb.

"What time is it?"

"Around noon. Come, I've made lunch," he said, gently taking Buffy's hand, then Tara's. They both smiled and allowed him to lead them down the hall and stairs, and into the kitchen.

AN: I know it's been a long time, but my Buffy stories are basicaally on "hold". And someone did suggest Tara find out about Buffy, and when I get time to find the review, I'll add your name, I promise. I'll try to update more, but don't hold me to it.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Giles?"

"Yes Buffy/"

"Why are there no vamps anywhere?" Buffy asked as they patrolled.

"I believe all of the vampires are in hiding."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure." There was a silence for a while before Buffy spoke again.

"Tara told me something today."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Her dad didn't use just that stupid demon story to keep her family 'in line'."

"Oh dear Lord," Giles said, cleaning his glassed as they sat on a bench to take a break.

"Yeah. She said it went on for a while."

"Is she all right?"

"I think so. I think she told me so I know I'm not alone, you know?" she asked, looking at the stary sky.

"I believe that is something someone like Tara would do," he replied, squeezing her hand.

"I think we cried more then talked."

"That's understandable."

"She said she's gettin' afraid of Willow," Buffy admitted, shocking her Watcher.

"P-pardon?"

"Tara. She said Willow's getting too dangerous and is scaring her."

"Yes, she is."

"She said that Willow's not gonna last much longer is we don't stop her."

"And things just keep getting worse when it deals with Willow, doesn't it?" he muttered under his breath. Buffy's Slayer healing picked it up though.

"Giles, what are we going to do about her?" Buffy asked just as something behind some overgrowth hissed, scaring the Slayer. Giles picked his sword up from the ground and followed her behind the overgrowth.

"Aww," Buffy said, lowering her weapon. "It's a kitten."

"Buffy, be careful!" Giles snapped as she reached and plucked the kitten from the branches it was stuck in.

"It doesn't seem like it's got rabies. I think I'll take it to the vet tomorrow."

"You mean your taking it to your house?" he asked.

"Yeah. If there's nothing wrong with it, I'll keep it. Dawn always wanted a cat." She looked at him before ducking her head and petting the cat the was nestled between her breasts inside her jacket. "You don't care, do you?"

"It's not my decision."

"You live with us. I mean-if it's not ok-" she broke off, blushing. He chuckled and looked at the tiger looking cat.

"I think it would be beneficial for Dawn to have the responsibility of raising a pet," he answered in a neutral, British tone.

"Translation: you think the little thing is cute and want to keep it."

"Quite," he said with a blush. Smiling, she looked at the abandoned kitten with love in her eyes. He thought she looked like a new mother.

"Come, we should head back anyway. You can give the kitten some milk and let it sleep in a towel lined box." She started to protest until he continued. "Just until you're sure it has not illnesses or anything else of the sort." She grinned again and stated petting the kitten once more.

It was ten the next morning when Buffy and Giles arrived at the vets office. After Buffy explained she'd found the kitten abandoned in the part the night before, the receptionist quickly ushered her into the back, sending the first available vet to them, regardless of the scheduled patients. "Rabies" was all over the town, or so everyone claimed. No one wanted to admit there were demons.

It took nearly a hour, but once the exam and x-rays were complete, the vet stated the kitten was fine except for dehydration and slight malnutrition, which explained the skinniness.

"Any sooner, and I think the little thing would have died. She's lucky she doesn't have any diseases or worms."

After picking up a bag of kitten food from the store and a container of kitten milk, Buffy and Giles sat in the living room, watching the kitten bat nervously at it's saucer of milk.

"She's so cute," Buffy said with a smile.

"I agree."

"Giles, do you...never mind."

"What is it?" he asked, turning to her, but carefully not touching anything save her hand. Tara and Dawn were the only ones she'd give hugs.

"Nothing." And they went back to watching the kitten.

An hour later, Tara arrived home. Afternoon classes were canceled because of a water contamination in the teachers lounge that made all campus coffee drinking teachers ill.

"Hi Buffy, Giles." Tara noticed the kitten and her smile flickered before returning double the strength. They'd forgotten she'd lost her cat...

"We found her during patrol last night."

"She's cute. Looks like a tiger," Tara said, watching the kitten as it jumped after a piece of lint in air.

"I was gonna let Dawn have her, but I can't now." Tara smiled and sat beside Buffy and squeezed her hand knowingly.

"I got Miss Kitty a month before I left home. No one knew I had her until after I left. She was supposed to be a present for my sister, but I couldn't give her up.

"So, what are you going to name her?" the witch asked, changing the subject away from painful memories.

"I'm not sure. I'd let Rupert decided, but he'd pick something weird and hard to say," Buffy said with a grin.

"I'll have you know, I've chosen a very sensible name for the feline." Both women raised their eyebrows. "Soma."

"And _how_ did you get that?"

"Our kitten on the floor looks similar to a _Somali_ cat," he said, somewhat embarrassed. Tara and Buffy laughed as they watched the kitten curl up to sleep in a batch of sunlight.

AN: Four pages, and it didn't take me that long! Mabey I'm getting my element back. My Harry Potter stories seem to be calling me though.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Buffy!"

"Dawn, shush!" The teen shut the front door and threw down her school bag before entering the living room to see Buffy, Giles and Tara still sitting in their seats, watching the kitten play with a feather Tara was controlling with magic,

"Kitty."

"Yes, a kitten Dawn."

"When did we get a kitten, and why?"

"We found it last night on patrol, took it to the vet today, and not we've got a kitten," Buffy said, watching te kitten jump, trying to catch the feather. Tara giggled and lead the small animal in circles.

"So what's its name?" Dawn asked as she sat on the floor, next to the couch.

"Soma," Giles said.

"Weird name."

"Thank you Dawn," Giles said sarcastically. She stuck out her tongue. The kitten was attempting to kill the now normal feather as it pounced, bit and scratched.

"Buffy, where's the kitten sleeping?"

"In my room, where else?"

"But you'll squish it!"

"I will not."

"Buffy, there's no room in your room!"

"And what do you mean by that?" Dawn was about to respond with a usual teenage remark, but noticed the looks on the three adults faces and chose to keep quiet, knowing now wasn't the time.

The doorbell rang and she shot from the couch, muttering "Saved by the bell" in the process.

"Who are you?" Dawn asked as someone entered the house.

"A friend." Giles slowly stood, his temper skyrocketing.

"Ah, Ripper. You finally got the Slayer I see."

"Ethan, what do you want?" Giles asked, hands balled into fists.

"Well, it seems chaos is about to brew, and I wasn't in on it. In fact, it involves your young witch, you, Miss Muscles and a vampire."

"What. Do. You. Want?" Buffy asked, standing beside Giles.

"Oh, so fierce," Ethan said in mock fright. Smirking, he pulled off his gloves. "It seems I'm to help you stop the chaos, for whatever reason."

"Why?"

"Not a blasted clue Ripper. I was just told that the witch was going to brew some world ending chaos."

AN: ETHAN! Ok, should we hook him up with Dawn or Willow? Oh yeah, Willow's kinda in limbo with Tara. Hmm. Well, give me votes on either relationship, and Tara/Willow may just end. But I love Tara, and she'll stay if they break up.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Willow? And the end of the world? Together?" Dawn asked, squeaking.

"Yes girl, the end of the world." Ethan tilted his head. "What are you? Ow!" Giles placed his foot back on the floor and looked around innocently.

"What are you made of?" Buffy asked sweetly. "Cause we can find out. Real easily."

"I think not," the sorcerer said, wearily watching the Slayer.

"Too bad. Mabey next time," Buffy replied with a vicious grin. Well, she had to take her anger out on someone, even if he didn't deserve the kind of anger she had.

_Wait, this is Ethan, he deserves all kind of anger,_ Buffy though, still grinning viciously. The grin scared both Ethan and Giles, along with Tara and Dawn, but no so much. It was the kind of grin that threatened castration if Ethan pissed her off any more than he already did.

"I think we've got all the info we need today," she said decisively. Ethan sighed in relief. Soma came out of the living room and walked circles around Buffy and Giles' ankles before stopping between the two, and turning to face Ethan. She started spitting and hissing at him, hair on end, and raised on her very tippy-toes.

Ethan raised an eyebrow at the kitten and chuckled in amusement. He wasn't grinning when the kitten sprang from the ground and latched it's claws into his face, scratching and bitting everywhere.

"Bloody fucking cat!" Laughing, Buffy removed her kitten and petted it's head as Ethan continued cursing.

"That was entertaining," Dawn said.

"I concur," Giles said, grinning at his ex-friend.

"So, where am I staying?" Ethan asked as he wiped his face with a handkerchief.

"Not here," chorused three voices. Tara just smiled, having expected the answer.

"There are plenty of...motels that shall fit your personal preference Ethan," Giles said, his eyes taking on a dark glint. "And I assure you, you may stay at a hotel, but you shan't be able to leave until this situation is resolved."

"Come now Ripper, you wouldn't?"

"He might not, but I will," Buffy said, using that grin again. Ethan had enough sense of self-preservation to know he'd be wise to do what she told him, for once.

"All right," Ethan agreed sullenly.

"Excellent," Ripper said with a grin that matched Buffy's earlier smile while placing a protective arm around her shoulder. Ethan wondered worriedly what would make his old friend try and protect eh Slayer instead of the other way around.

Ripper took delight in preforming the binding spells to keep Ethan in Sunnydale until his forced mission was complete.

"Now," Giles said, calmer, but still gleeful, "I think Ethan should be on his way to book a room, and Buffy and I shall get ready for patrol.

"You've got two hours," Dawn pointed out, confused why they'd get ready early.

"But we have to go the Magic Box first," Giles said. Buffy was already heading up the stairs. Ethan left, already planning to find out what the Slayer and his old friend were hiding.

After an hour of searching the Magic Box for what they needed, it took most the time to find a book, Buffy and Giles were walking through town, waiting and watching intently. Neither off them noticed Ethan, who followed them.

Ethan checked the spell on his person and began increasing his pace enough to hear them.

"-you think he's telling the truth?"

"I do, Buffy. Ethan may be... Ethan ma lie, but he's not lying about being sent here."

"So you trust him to help us."

"Once I did the binding spells, yes."

Buffy nodded and looked around, wondering where all the vampires were. Speaking of vampires...

"He was talking about Spike," she said in a flat tone. Ethan watched, intrigued, as Giles tensed angerly while placing a comforting hand on her forearm.

"I believe so. He and Willow are somehow going to try and destroy the world."

"I'm so beginning to hate Willow." Giles didn't respond for a while, which made Ethan wonder.

"You'll have to face him," he eventually said.

"I'd rather just kill him before the world is about to end," she said, sarcasm slightly coloring her words. "But, like you said, that involves facing him."

"Tara and I can preform the de-invitation spell tonight."

"He hurt me Giles," she whispered, causing them both to stop. He cautiously pulled her into his arms. Ethan was even more confused, and somewhat angered, the right conclusions slowly falling into place. Even he wasn't ruthless enough to-

"I know, Buffy, I know," cut through Ethan's thoughts. "I believe we aren't going to encounter any demons tonight dearest, why don't we head home?" Giles hugged her tighter and looked over her shoulder, strait at Ethan, his eyes flickering with recognition. His mouth twisted slightly and he blinked once slowly at an invisible Ethan, letting him know he knew.

"Ok," she said in a defeated voice. The Watcher released his Slayer and she lent on him, her sword in a loose grip, dangling in her hand.

_Come by later tonight,_ Ethan heard in his head. He smirked, recalling when he and Ripper had formed the telepathic link before Randall died.

It was eleven when Ethan arrive at the Summers' home. Giles waited for him on the front porch, sword by his side.

"Ripper."

"Ethan."

"You want me here, why?"

"You recall Spike I believe." Ethan didn't know how Ripper knew he'd associated with the blond vampire, but chose, for his safety, to not deny it.

"I do."

"He's to be killed the moment you see him."

"I need something to motivate me Ripper, you know that. I'm not your lapdog."

"He tried to rape Buffy." Ethan hissed, his assumptions confirmed.

"Why isn't he dust?"

Giles explained what had happened, and how the vampire disappeared, in a hard voice, anger rolling off him in waves.

Ethan growled, all negative emotions regarding the Slayer flying from his head. Even he had standards, and if someone was a victim of something outside his standards, he do whatever he could to help. Plus, she was Rupert's girl, and being nice to her, meant getting back in his old friend's good book.

"Oh, I won't kill him, not first. I'll make the bloody wanker suffer," Ethan swore, cracking his knuckles.

"We both will, if I'm with you," Giles interjected.

Neither noticed Dawn listening in the open dining room, a look of horror making her face.

AN: I'm cruel, I know. So, who should Ethan hook up with? I'm think Dawn, cause I have a twisted mind, and I can't find any real E/D stories, just ones where Ethan uses Dawn (makes her feel bad after befriending her) to get back at Buffy. sigh

Important note on the relationship question: I won't start the next chapter until I get some suggestions!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

_Diary_

_Ethan's been here a couple weeks. He's like moved in._ Dawn crossed something out on the page. _It's so weird around here. G&B are joined at the hip, Ethan's keeping watch at night, W&T_ _are all sorts of crazy, Xand's trying to keep Anya from_—her pen dragged across the paper as Buffy yelled for her, from downstairs, scarring the teen.

"Great," Dawn muttered, shutting her diary.

"DAWN, NOW!" Buffy yelled.

"Hold on!" Yanking on a jacket, she ran down the stairs. "What?"

"We're going out."

"So, I'm staying here?" Dawn asked, somewhat annoyed. _Really, was it so freakin' hard to walk up the stairs?_

"No," Giles said, testing the sword in his hand. "Tara and Ethan are going to take you the Magic Box. If you see Willow, don't linger."

"Goody," she said under her breath. Tara snickered slightly and Ethan smirked.

"Understand?" Buffy asked.

"Yes. See Willow, run away. It's daylight, so I'm guessing that it's just Willow I should avoid."

"Yep."

"Ok. When do I leave?"

"After we do," Buffy said as she opened the front door. Giles followed her from the house. Dawn turned and looked at her keepers.

"So, what're we doing?"

"You are going to get your homework," Tara said before Ethan could interject anything. "And then we're going to the Magic Box."

"Okkkkaaayyy. So, anyone know anything about the prophecy?"

Neither magic wielder answered.

"Do you think we'll find her?" Buffy asked.

"I'm not sure to be truthful. I do know it will be easier. Her magical signature is like a northern star."

"I STILL can't get over the fact that ETHAN RAYNE is here to help us," she said, giggling slightly. "I mean, all the crap he's done in the past, and now he's supposed to help us save the world?!"

"It is somewhat unbelievable," Giles agreed.

"Somewhat? Try completely!" Buffy giggled again. Giles smiled and turned down a sidestreet. "Hey, where're we goin'?"

"Somewhere."

"Ok, Mr Vague, be a little more specific?"

"No."

Buffy pouted at him, making him stare at her lips. _Really now, that wasn't any fair..._

"No Buffy."

_Wow, Giles knows the word. Strange._

"Please?"

"Somewhere in town."

"You're mean."

"And you, my dear, do not play fair."

"I do too!" she protested. He smiled and ran a thumb over her lip. "Hmm..."

"No, you don't," he whispered in her ear before starting down the alleyway, having stopped. She huffed and followed him, grumbling about stupid ex-Watchers who were going to get killed by their Slayers. He chuckled and reached behind him to grab her hand and pull her to his side.

"Love you," he said, making her heart flutter.

"Love you too."

"DAWN, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!" Anya yelled from behind the counter.

"Why does she always do that?" Dawn muttered rhetorically as she entered the store, Ethan and Tara behind her.

"Because you stole from her?" Tara asked, smiling slightly.

Ethan chuckled. Since when was the Slayer's sister a rebel? He'd obviously missed a lot since his last visit.

"Can we go somewhere else?"

"No."

"Please?" Dawn begged.

"No," Tara repeated, crossing her arms and looking stern.

"But there's nothing to do here!"

"Find something."

Pouting, Dawn entered the main area of the shop.

"D-do you think Willow will come here?" Tara asked Ethan quietly. Ethan "hmm"ed and thought.

"I think that she will, eventually, come to find you all. At the moment, I believe she is conserving and gaining power," he finally admitted somewhat reluctantly.

"Right you are Ethan," Willow said from the doorway. Dawn looked on from behind Tara and Ethan, who'd forced her back at the first word from Willow, horrified at the changed in Willow. Everything about her was black. Her hair, her eyes, her veins, her clothes...

Tara and Ethan threw a light blue ball of energy at Willow while Anya teleported with Dawn. The demon and Key arrived in an alley.

"Hey, break it up! Willow's destroying the Magic Box and probably burning the money!" Anya said, scaring Buffy and Giles from their, um, _friendly embrace._ Dawn gagged. Really, seeing her sister and Giles kiss wasn't something she needed.

"WHAT?!" they both roared.

Anya nodded. "Exactly. Tara and Ethan are defending the store now."

Before Dawn could correct Anya, Buffy and Giles were gone, running down the alley, towards the Magic Box.

Anya frowned. "Well damn, what do I do about you?"

"Take me to the mall?"

"No, no. I've got to go make sure the store is safe, and I don't' have money to give you. Or want to give you."

Suddenly, the demon smiled and teleported. Xander would deal with Dawn!

Dawn was confused. _When did Anya become a demon again? Wait, not important. Important was Willow and Tara, Ethan, Buffy and Giles fighting._

Dawn's thoughts turned. _Really, them kissing, why did I have to see that? Yea, I'm on their side and supported the relationship, but that was moot point!_

"Xander!" Anya yelled, walking further into the living room. Xander exited the bedroom, rubbing his eyes. He'd taken the week off to help with Willow and Ethan. Today was his day of as a Scooby to rest up.

"An? Dawn? Wha--"

"Never mind that! I need you to watch Dawn so I can get back to the store and keep the money safe!" Dawn rolled her eyes as Anya teleported out.

"So, when did she become a demon again?"

"After the wedding," Xander said, yawning. "Her old boss said it's help save the world."

"Figures. Only on the Hellmouth can being a demon be _good_," Dawn said, following him into the kitchen.

"Ironic, huh?" he asked, pulling down a box of sugary cereal and two bowls. "Get the milk, we'll watch tv and eat."

"You won't guess what I saw that made me want to rip my eyeballs out."

"On Sunnyhell, I can only wish I'm not going to ask," Xander said, cramming cereal into his mouth. "Wa'd y'u 'ee?"

"Buffy and Giles makin' out in an alley."

Xander barely swallowed the cereal before chocking.

Dawn laughed and turned on the tv.

Magic Box

By the time Buffy and Giles arrived, Willow was gone. Tara and Ethan were on the ground, out cold and bleeding from wounds on their heads. Anya arrived right after the couple, and was happy to see her store was not in ruins. Actually, she was happy Tara was fine, but played if off as the store. But we won't tell. Shh!

"Tara?" Buffy asked, shaking the witch gently. "Hey, Tara, wakey, wakey."

"Hm? 'T's too early," she said, her head pounding.

"Come on Tara, gotta get up and let us look at your head." Buffy smiled at Tara and started to say something else when a splash was heard beside her. Ethan sputtered and launched from the floor, sending a blow at Giles, who easily countered it.

"Sorry old chap," Giles said mockingly, "Had to get you up somehow."

"Bloody bastard."

"My parents were married as you very well know."

Ethan grunted and fingered the gash on his forehead, frowning as he did.

"That little witch has the power of chaos. How in the BLOODY HELL did she get it?"

"Chaos? As in what you serve?" Anya asked.

"No. Her magics are all chaotic, but she doesn't have the magics of Chaos."

"I think she's been going to a dealer," Anya said, inspecting the merchandise.

Tara and Ethan froze, both having been pacing.

"Dealer?"

"Mmhm. I think Amy said she used to go to one when I attended the high school. I was a demon then, and Amy told me losts of things," Anya continued as if nothing was wrong. She pulled a feather duster from under the counter, and started dusting.

"I mean, Willow's been reeking of magic for months. I'm surprised to took you all this long to notice anything was different, especially you Tara. Have you stopped giving each other orgasms?"

Tara blushed and ducked her head.

"Anya, shut up!" Dawn yelled as she entered the store, Xander having sped from his apartment after she'd told him about Willow.

"I was only trying to help…"

"Do it by not talking about sex!"

"Well!" Anya huffed, at loss as to what to say.

Ethan smiled slightly as he saw the angry flush on Dawn's cheeks, the sparkle in her eyes. There were green flecks in her eyes that he'd never noticed before. It made the brown look so much more textured, as if there were different shades of brown that made up her beautif–

What was _happening_ to him?! He'd been around Ripper too long, that was for sure!

Dawn sighed and wrapped an arm around Tara, who sniffed and gave her a shaky smile. Returning it with her own smile, Dawn released the blond and went over to Ethan, who she saw was staring at her.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," she told him as she crossed her arms and stood before him.

He laughed. And tried not to look down too much. He had to look down at her slightly to see her eyes, but she didn't know that the way she crossed her arms emphasized her breasts.

_Ripper will kill me. And the Slayer. Shit_, he thoughts, trying SO hard not to look. He looked. Just barely.

Dawn raised and eyebrow. Rayne was nervous? She smirked as she saw his eyes dart to her chest and back to her face, sweat starting to form on his forehead as he did so.

Anya nodded her head to herself and went to help Tara in the back room. It was good that Dawn and Ethan finally realized they could give each other good company. But not orgasms, Dawn was too young for that. Maybe in a few months.

Ethan licked his lips.

"Why are you nervous Ethan?" she asked, taking a step towards him. He backed away, not willing to risk Ripper's, or the Slayer's, wrath. Not with the girl.

"It's bloody hot in her girl, I don't know why you wouldn't think I'm nervous," he said unconvincingly.

"Unhuh. Tell it to someone that'll believe you," she said, uncrossing her arms and loosely draping them over his shoulders.

Ethan swallowed.

She lent forwards and kissed him, her arms wrapped around his neck.

Growling slightly, he placed and arm around her waist and pulled her flush to him. _Well, if she insisted..._

AN: Yes, yes, it's short, I know. Blame the muses and the evil doctors.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Tara watched Ethan and Dawn kiss before shutting the door to the training room, smiling.

Dawn moaned. _Really, this was Heaven. His lips, his arms._

_If this is torture, can I continue it for the rest of my life?_ Ethan wondered, his arms crushing her to him.

Buffy and Giles watched from the training room, smiles on their faces. While they didn't really approve, it could have been worse. Like a vampire. Or a giant bug. Besides, they both knew Ethan would never hurt Dawn, since he was scared shitless of them.

Buffy filed away the thought that she'd have to have a talk with Dawn. She remembered being that age, with a guy older than her. She looked at Giles and smiled.

Giles smiled back, also filing away the thought that he'd have to, ahem, _talk_ to Ethan. He knew the man like he knew the back of his hand, and he wasn't about to let Dawn get used by his ex-friend.

Back in the shop, Ethan pulled away, panting. They really needed to stop. Before things got out of control. Even more than they were.

Dawn blinked and looked around, dazed. _How did I get on a table?_ she wondered, inching off the table.

Ethan backed away so she didn't bump into him.

"So, we're going out, right?" Dawn asked, looking at him with uncertain eyes.

Ethan smirked slightly. He wasn't stupid enough to use Dawn. Not like that. He'd be dead before he could even finish. From Buffy or Rupert, he wasn't sure. He thought it would be a tie for both of them trying to kill him first.

_Silly girl, as if I'd hurt you._

"Courting is what it is called in England, my dear," he said, smirking. She smiled and blushed slightly before wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder.

Ethan smiled and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. **This **was how it was supposed to be.

Felling a gaze on him, he opened his eyes and was met with the gaze Ripper, whose eyebrow was raised in question.

_Courting is generally thought to be for wooing a woman into marriage_,Ripper said. Ethan grinned at him.

_No one ever said words went by just one definition Ripper. By the way, are you wooing the Slayer._

_In a manner of speaking, _Ripper replied, knowing Ethan wouldn't think he meant the first definition of the word.

Ethan nodded, grinning. _These Summers girl and British men, ey mate?_

_They do seem to have good taste,_ Ripper replied, smirking, making Ethan snort slightly. Dawn wasn't paying any attention, and didn't notice.

The training room door shut again, leaving the new couple alone once more.

"Buffy's gonna kill us," Dawn told him matter-of-factly. "Then Giles. And Xander."

"I think only the boy will be a problem."

"Only the boy…." When she noticed he wasn't looking directly at her, but around her, Dawn raised an eyebrow and followed his gaze to the training room door. "Oh!" she squeaked, blushing hotly.

He chuckled.

Rack's Hideout

Across town, Willow laid on a bed, her body withering as Rack cleansed her of pain and the residual good magic from Tara and Ethan. The chaos magic from Ethan hadn't stayed with her.

"Hold STILL!" Rack commanded, his fingers digging farther into her chest. Willow screamed as his nails cut her skin and muscle. "It's done," he said after a few minutes. Panting, Rack sat back on the bed, a slight buzz making him feel light.

Wisps of dark magic crackled around his body, jumping from him to her and back again. The air was tight with the electrical feel of magics. There was a faint scent of strawberries and blackberries.

Willow inhaled the faint smell and opened her black eyes, a slight smirk forming on her lips. "You taste sour."

Rack didn't reply, just smoothed a hand down her jaw, farther down to her breasts, stopping only to cup to them.

Magic Box

Tara was the one voted to go into the store and give the new lovers a chance to compose themselves. As much as Buffy and Giles loved seeing a ruffled and sputtering Ethan, they knew Dawn would be just as bad. And that was way too funny. So the gentlest person was sent to break their absorption.

Silently shutting the door behind her, Tara hesitantly walked towards the couple. She smiled when she saw the tender look on Ethan's face as he stroked Dawn's hair.

"W-we need to plan what t-to do," she said quietly, bringing Dawn and Ethan back to earth, from their own thoughts.

Blushing, Dawn pulled away from Ethan, but kept a hand in his, as if to assure herself that he was real.

Tara's smile widened. They reminded her so much of Buffy and Giles, how they always to make sure the other was there.

As if signaled, Watcher and Slayer exited the training room. It was evident they had nothing but wait.

"So, what's this about planning, Ripper? I assumed you already had one," Ethan said with a raised eyebrow.

"After she attack the shop, our plan went void," Giles replied, grinning in response. Ethan rolled his eyes to something only he and Giles knew.

"Wouldn't it've made more sense to go after you and Buffy? I mean, you're threats too," Dawn pointed out, looking between the destined duo.

"That is true, but at the moment, Ethan and Tara are more of a threat. While Buffy and myself could..._subdue_ Willow, Tara and Ethan would have a better chance of doing it faster."

"Hmm."

Buffy and Giles exchanged glances before looking at Ethan and Tara, who both shrugged as if to sat "We won't know until we try".

"Maybe it would be better to just trick her," Dawn finally said, looking between the others slowly. "I mean, the sooner she'd caught, the better, right?"

"Yes," Giles said after a pause. "But the kind of bait required is something we won't use. It requires a human, one that would most likely be killed."

"I'll do it," Dawn offered right when he finished.

"LIKE HELL YOU WILL!" Ethan and Buffy roared, drowning out Tara and Giles.

"No, really. She can't hurt me!" she said after calming them down. It had only taken nearly ten minutes. "Remember, I'm not human, not really," she admitted, pretending to not notice Buffy's pained look.

"I mean, I'm made of energy she can't touch. I KNOW that. If anything, I would be the best bet for her downfall."

"Dawnie..." Buffy whispered, her voice thick. They all knew she spoke the truth.

"W-when I was on the tower, and the portal was opened, I felt drawn to it. It was like I was floating and in my body at once. I saw things strangely. I remember seeing something around Willow, something around all of you. I guess now it was magic or whatever. I could touch it, the stuff around you.

"Later, after you were brought back..." here, Dawn paused and drew a shaky breath, trying not to cry. "I felt something drawing towards me when I was around you guys, all of you. Well, 'cept you Buffy, but you're always different."

Buffy smiled, recognizing her sister's attempt at lightening the mood.

"When I stayed near someone for a long time, it felt like smoke was going through my body. If I was sick or somethin' the smoky felling got heavy, and I felt better. Especially around Willow," she concluded.

"I understand!" Tara said, her expression slowly turning to one of happiness. "Dawn, the Key energy, is universal-everything and nothing at the same time. She's connected to magics, since it's p-pretty close to what she's made of."

"In theory, you'd be able to extract Willow's magic just by being near her. It would take training, but you could do it," Giles said, his eyes alight with hope and dismay.

"I think we should do it. We can train her Giles," Anya said. "I mean, a Chaos sorcerer, a witch, a Watcher and Slayer, and me with over a thousand years of knowledge, we could train Dawn." She paused. "Would we have to take money from the store?"

Laughter met her question

[-]

And train her they did. For a month, Dawn trained as hard as Buffy had, with more focus than Giles and Ethan put together.

"Can we take a break, please?" she asked as she rose from the ground, holding her arm to her chest.

"Yes, let's," Ethan agreed, leaning against the wall as he rubbed his temples. Giles just groaned. Buffy and Tara sat on the ground.

"Ugh, why did I agree to do this again?" Dawn asked.

Tara smiled at her, but didn't say anything.

Anya entered the secluded area, carrying a bag that contained bottles of water and fruit.

"Here you go. I thought you would need this. I was right," she said in her usual tactless, self-centered tone. The others just smiled or groaned and accepted a bottle of water, sighing happily as half the bottle ended up on their burning faces.

"I vote we go home and sleep," Buffy said, eyes closed. She poured the rest of the water on her face, sighing in relief.

"Me too," Dawn said, looking at Giles. He nodded, still rubbing his temples.

"You don't expect me to go with you, do you? You all stink really nasty."

Tara was the first to crack her restrained smile. She burst into the laughter, quickly followed by the others.

"What? What?" Anya demanded. "Hey, listen to me!"

Summer's Residence

Less than two hours later, Dawn, Ethan, Tara, Giles and Buffy sat in the dinning room, finishing off the rest of their meal.

"Dessert?" Dawn asked, taking their plates to the kitchen.

"Sleep," Buffy and Tara both said, giggling as they did. It was obvious they all were at the end of their energy stores.

"Ice cream?"

No one seemed to notice Ethan's glinting eyes.

"Sleep!"

Giles looked at his childhood friend and sent him a sly smirk. Ethan gave Giles a suspicious look. Giles leant across Dawn's empty chair and whispered,

"Don't get any ideas. I know your signature." Ethan blanched slightly, and Ripper grinned.

All was good.

[-]

Outside the house, Spike took a drag from his cigarette before throwing it to the ground and crushing it under his boot.

He pulled out his cell and punched in a number.

"It's me. 'ey're all merry and 'ull of laughter, Red. Yeah, I under'and w'at I gotta do," he added before punching the off button. "Bitch."

Rack's Hideout

Willow set the phone on the cradle and laid back against Rack's chest with a sigh. Her black hair looked like ink against his white skin. Black eyes met red as she smirked and stroked him.

"I can't wait to hear them all scream for mercy," she said, turning and pushing him down onto the bed. She straddled him and slammed herself down.

"I'm gonna give little Dawnie to Spike for play, after I drain her of course, then I'm gonna fuck Tara like never before. I'm gonna spill her blood as I make her cum."

"What about the sorcerer and Watcher? And the whore Slayer?"

Willow smiled, her white teeth made whiter by the darkness of her black-veined face.

"They'll be closer than ever before."

Summer's Residence

Dawn groaned and rolled over. Or tried to at any rate. Fully awake now, she grinned.

"Ethan, wake up."

"Go 'ack ta 'leep, love," he mumbled.

"Eeeeetttttthhhhhhaaaaannnnn," she whined.

"It's six in the bloody morning! Go back to sleep," he told her, yanking the covers of their heads. She giggled.

"Dawn, I'm bloody knackered, either go to sleep, or go away."

"Ok," she said, laying her head back on his chest. He wrapped an arm around her torso, holding her in place. Having never opened his eyes, he didn't notice the tiny kitten that was laying on top on his head, curled in his hair. Nor did he notice that the kitten had "washed" his hair during the night, causing it to stick up at all angels.

Dawn giggled again before falling back asleep.

[-]

Upstairs, Buffy and Giles laid in Joyce's old bed. During the past month, the bedrooms had been re-arranged to suit everyone. Tara was in Dawn's old room, Dawn was in Buffy's old room, and for his safety, Ethan was downstairs in a spare bedroom. No one mentioned the fact that both Buffy and Giles had threatened Ethan with severe bodily harm if he attempted anything while staying in the house.

But then again, only Tara knew, having followed them them down the stairs that night to do the same thing.

None of them were stupid enough to tell Dawn. She'd kill them all in their sleep.

"Dawn's not in her room," Buffy said, not moving an inch. She snuggled closer to the heart under her ear, and was rewarded with Giles' arms tightening their hold.

"Is she now? I suppose she's with Ethan then."

"Yeah." Buffy yawned. "They're back asleep, and I'm not gettin' up, so it's all good."

"Are you sure? After all, she isn't supposed to be sleeping in his room."

"No, it's cool. I mean, after that scare last night, it's ok," she added, referring to the figure they'd seen outside the house before bed, one that seemed to have blond hair. "It's not like she does it every night."

"That's good then."

"You're not really listening, are you?"

"I am. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing," he replied hastily, kissing the crown of her head. She smiled and sighed contently, happy to lay in his arms. And the act of laying in his arms would be disturbed is she questioned him. Therefore, silence and acceptance.

:

;

;

:

AN: HELP! PLEASE, I'm begging you! Faithful readers, give me some ideas, **please!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

_Dear Diary,_

_It all happened so fast. One minute we were sitting in the park, eating, and the next, we were fighting Willow and some other guy. Well, we all kicked butt! Ethan and Giles drained her magic after I–Dawn Summers–took her down. We fought for a while, and she almost had me, until I turned one of her attacks around, and made it go after her._

_Well, anyway, the guy got away, but not before Ripper and Ethan broke a few of his bones. They said they'd go after him once Tara and Buffy aren't so spazzed. Tara had to bind Willow while Ethan and Giles drained her magic, and Buffy went after a vampire she sensed was nearby. She didn't go until the fight was done though. That would've been rude._

_But it turns out the vampire she sensed was Spike! God, the look on her face when she told us that. It was like she'd just came back from the grave again. I never wanna see that look on her face again. Her eyes were haunted, and she was shaking so bad. I thought Giles was gonna have a heart attack when he saw she had a broken arm._

_Oh, that part was gross. When Tara asked her if she wanted to go the hospital for her arm, Buffy shook her head and threw her arm out, popping the bones in place. I almost puked. It sounded SSSSSOOOOOO nasty. Eeewww! I'm shaking, just remembering it._

_Well diary, Giles is calling. I guess I'd better go eat._

_Dawn_

_ps, Ethan's living here! We don't tell them about how much we bump into each other when we get drinks at night, but I think they know. At least, I think that's what the looks they give us are..._

"Dawn, NOW!"

"All right, I'm coming, hold on! Jeeze!" she said, stashing the diary away before running down the steps.

It had been two days since the battle with Willow, and everyone just now had time to relax, with all the stuff going on. Giles had called in some favors, and Willow was now on her way to England, to work with a coven. Even though she didn't have any magic, the lessons they would teach her would do her good.

As for Rack, he was dead. The broken bone's he'd gotten had consisted for a few ribs, and they had punctured his lungs. He couldn't even heal himself, since he'd drowned in his own blood less than five minutes after the battle.

No one knew what happened with Spike. The only thing Buffy would tell them was that they'd fought, and it made them all think the worst. When they asked, she would instantly shut down, acting like she had when she'd fist come back, and ignore them.

"Soma," Dawn said, looking at the kitten that she almost stepped on. The kitten purred and she picked it up, rubbing their noses. "Come on, time to eat."

"The kitten is not sitting at the table Dawn."

"Duh. I'm puttin' her down, see?"

Giles grinned as he handed her a piece of meat for the kitten. Food was already circulating the table.

From her seat across from Giles, Buffy watched Ethan and Dawn flirt, playing with their food. Dawn was stealing Ethan's chicken, eating with speed she only used for breakfast, and Ethan was trying to take the food off her fork with his own.

Across from the couple, Tara smiled. She looked between Giles and Buffy, her smiling dimming somewhat. She wondered what was going on with the Slayer, but didn't comment. She had a feeling that Ethan knew, to some extent, because of Chaos.

And she was right. Ethan could tell from Buffy's emotions, the chaotic state of them, that something wasn't right. There was a difference to them than there had been before the battle. Her inner chaos was so great, he could almost read all her emotions. Almost, but not quiet.

At his side, Dawn glanced at everyone around the table, her improved vision catching the sighs of tension from all the dinner occupants. Having tapped into her "Key senses", as she called them, she could see the swirls of emotion that emitted from each person. It hurt her to see that there was mostly dark colors surrounding Buffy and Giles, centered around their bond.

She tilted her head. Seeing the bond was something that gave her hope and let her know they would get through their troubles. But the darkness was trying to cut through the bond. She watched as a purple wisp wrapped around the bond and start to merge with it. But before it could, the wisp was repelled backward, into the light emotions that surrounded the couple, despite their problems.

Feeling her scrutiny, Giles looked up from his plate and met the slightly glowing eyes of Dawn. His own eyes narrowed his answer as he gripped his fork tighter. He saw the glow diminish, but didn't relax. She was aware of what he saw, having seen a flash of it in her eyes, reflected back to him by her guilt.

Buffy watched as Giles' jaw tightened. She frowned and sat down her utensils, her appetite gone. Taking a deep breathe, she felt the darkness, the tension and anger, try to consume her. Inwardly shuddering, she forced herself to meet his eyes.

"_Giles,"_ she said through their link.

"_Yes, Buffy?"_

"_What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing...besides the fact that you've decided to keep secrets when we agreed there would be none."_

She winced, his anger burning her. _"I'm sorry."_

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. _"Sorry doesn't cut it."_ He felt his heart skip a beat at the pain in her eyes.

"_I know. Why can't you just leave it alone?"_

"_I'm worried about you."_

Ethan froze in his seat. The chaos coming from the couple was making him feel sick to his stomach. _Such violence,_ he thought. The darkness around them surged as Buffy grew more upset, and Giles more angry.

"Ripper, what do you think about the wards?" he asked suddenly.

Giles allowed himself to be distracted, happy to be off the subject of secrets.

"Buffy, can I go to Melany's this weekend?" Dawn asked, realizing what was going on.

"Who's Melany?"

"A girl from school."

"I know _that_."

"She hangs out with me and Janice," Dawn said with a sigh.

Buffy thought it over. At least she wasn't asking to go to Janice's... "I'll need to talk to her mom."

"I've got her number."

"Ok, you can go," Buffy said with a mock-pained sigh, fighting a grin. Dawn squealed and ran around the table, and wrapped her arms around her sister. "Get off! Ugh, get her off!" Buffy yelled, trying to push Dawn off.

Dawn, moving backwards, stumbled as Buffy pushed her slightly, and landed on the table. While trying to grab the table so she didn't land on the floor, Dawn accidently knocked Buffy's drink right into her lip.

"DAWN! THAT'S F-ING COLD!"Buffy yelled, jumping from her seat as the icy drink quickly soaked her lap. Laughter filled the room as the Slayer attempted to dry her pants, and only succeeded in making herself colder.

With a whine of frustration, Buffy stormed from the room, cursing Dawn. She was gonna to pay her back if it was the last thing she did.

Giles managed to calm his laughter as Buffy slammed her bedroom door. That was excellent, watching her get drenched. He knew he should be angry, but couldn't be. It was an accident after all.

Tara watched Buffy's aura through the ceiling, seeing it flicker to happier, lighter colors. But before everyone else's amusement even started to change, the witch looked at Giles, her expression disappointed.

"Giles, go," she said to him in a firm tone. He was out of his seat and making his towards the stairs without a word.

Ethan looked at the blonde and saw the fire in her eyes, the anger at their actions. He raised an eyebrow. Tara always seemed like such a passive person, but right now, she looked like the opposite of passive.

Dawn finally calmed down enough to realize Giles was gone. But having been too busy laughing, she didn't know about Tara ordering Giles to leave, and just smirked, thinking something naughty.

She didn't know how wrong she was.

Upstairs, Giles stared at Buffy, his eyes wide with horror. Standing before him, Buffy was covered in bruises, tape on her ribs and a bandage around her right thigh. She held a shirt to her chest, trying to cover her bra, but couldn't manage more than to clutch the material above her heart.

"Buffy..." he whispered, assessing her injuries with the trained eyes of her Watcher. Broken ribs that were probably still cracked; multiple organ bruising if the state of her stomach was an indicator; at least one still-healing deep gash that ran from hip to knee and a maybe damaged femur; deep bruises that probably covered bone bruises all down her legs and arms...

"Please go," she said softly, not looking at him. He shook his head, trying to think of anything besides the obvious. Within moments, he had his arms wrapped around her, gently holding her to him.

"Oh Buffy, why didn't you tell me?" he asked, remembering her popping her arm back into place, the multiple _crunch_es that let them all know the bone had been broken in more than one spot.

"I-I didn't want a-anyone to know. You w-would've tried to make me tell you," she said, shaking with suppressed tears. "I just wanted t-to forget." She buried her face in his chest, weeping.

He tightened his hold, gently rubbing her back. Even for the Slayer, she had to be in horrendous pain. And with the amount of injures she had, it wasn't a shock her Slayer healing was slowed. In his mind, he wondered if Spike was dead, but decided not to ask. Not right now.

There was a tickle on the inside of his skull before Ethan's voice filled his brain. _"Is something wrong?"_

"_Just keep them all downstairs,"_ he replied. Ethan mentally nodded and retreated back to his own mind.

"How--"

"I don't want to talk about it," she whispered.

"Buffy...if I'm to help you, I need to know."

She closed her eyes and nodded against his chest. "I was ambushed. Mostly vampires, but there was one or two other demons."

He pulled back and rubbed her arms, looking her over again. He didn't see anything he had missed in his first look, but as his hands moved up and down her arms, he became away or raised skin on her biceps. He slowed his hands and ran his fingers over the marks.

So close together, they felt like a jagged cut. But as he used the very tips of his fingers, leaning closer to see the skin through the bruises and swelling, he saw them–bite marks, and more than a few of them.

It made sense now. Her slow healing was because of the vampires' poison in her veins. _And if they'd bitten her enough to... _He swallowed that thought. When the Master had bit her, she healed a little slower due to his venom. Many lower level vampires would be more than adequate to nearly halt the Slayer aspect of her healing.

"Oh Buffy...my dear Buffy." She began sobbing as he gently pulled her to him once more.

It took nearly three days, but Buffy finally told the others what had happened. Ethan had held a raging Dawn in place, having been told the night Giles had found out.

With everyone help, Buffy managed to heal–albeit, slower than a normal person would. Near the end of her enforced rest, the last of the vampire poison left her system, and her Slayer healing kicked in. Having only lost her healing during the months of rest, Buffy was more than ready to patrol again.

She wiped out half the demons in Sunnydale in one night.

No one ever saw Spike again–Dawn assumed it was because Giles or Ethan staked him, but neither would admit it if they did.

Willow decided to stay in England for a year after her recovery. Tara had remained in Sunnydale, but they kept up communications after the coven deemed Willow "healed". Her mind wasn't what it used to be; she was still smart as a whip and a wiz with a computer, but the nice, friendly Willow had changed. She was more self-centered, and provoked easily.

None of the others ever did find out that she ordered Spike (under threat of torture) to attack Buffy.

Ethan permently moved into the Summers/Giles residence after Buffy and Giles married. The only real difference was that Dawn had Buffy's old room, Tara had Dawn's and Ethan saw still in the den–right under Buffy and Giles. Since Dawn's room was closer to Buffy and Giles, Buffy took great pleasure in intercepting Dawn's nightly "run-ins". She did let Dawn go some of the time–after all, how much has she snuck out to see Angel?

Xander eventually became the boss of his captender job and the Magic Box was rebuilt at twice the size due to Anya's connections after a fire burnt the shop to the ground.

Through the years, the Scoobies had good lives. Faith got out of prison and took over Sunnydale, giving Buffy a rest as the active Slayer, and when Faith turned thirty, a new Slayer was activated.

This lead Buffy and Giles to travel the world, returning to Sunnydale for holidays and birthdays. A few years after they were married, Ethan and Dawn also began traveling, the two couples sometimes running into one another during their travels.

When it came time for another of them to be lead Home, each Scoobies died with a smile on their face and loved ones at their side. The children of each couple, be they adopted or biological, carried on the duty of guarding the Hellmouth, and the Scooby Clan–as they were eventually called–became the Council Heads, starting with Buffy and Giles in their later years.

The Scooby Clan protected the world until the end of days, one of their own usually called to be the Slayer due to their bloodlines. With the Key, Chaos and Order Sorcerer, Slayer, two Witches, Vengeance demon and regular human starting their Clan, the Scooby Clan became the most powerful and relied upon defense against demon forces.

_**The End**_

_**AN:**_ I don't think I missed anything, but if I did, tell me, and I'll add it. This concludes another story!


End file.
